Performance anxiety

[star_of_sad]

[Virgola unit 3 was wrecked. Then it was repaired... and wrecked again, along with Setsuko's self-esteem.

At this rate, the mobile suit will never regain full functionality. The damage is just too severe.]

I really am a failure... even after all that happened, it's as if I learnt nothing.

Who thought it was a good idea to give a newbie position in the Glory Stars test team? Maybe I should just... go home...

[The pilot can be found moping not too far away from the hangar. It's like if Setsuko was reluctant to leave her own unit's field of vision.]

Comments

[majestic_keiki]

Hi.

[Kei came up next to her, carrying two bars of chocolate. Almost like she was prepared for running into Setsuko.]

I heard about the previous mission. Do you want to talk?

[star_of_sad]

I don't know if it's going to change anything.

[Setsuko's smile looks even more forced than usual.]

But, alright.

[majestic_keiki]

[Kei wordlessly offered one of the chocolate bars to share it.] I've been the failure myself, back at the academy, and I know how it feels to not be sure you're worth anything. But I don't think you're right. We've fought together on several missions and I've never seen you be one.

[star_of_sad]

Thank you.

[Setsuko accepts the gift. She'd chomp into it immediately, but you know. Talking.]

Well.
There's proof, right here.

[She looks up at the damaged Virgola.]

[cloningblues]

I heard the last battle was a mess.

...This feels very familiar.

[star_of_sad]

Yes. It was rather... scary, too.

I really thought it was over for me.

[cloningblues]

Sometimes you get into a fight that's just over your head. The same thing happened to me... Hell, it happened all the time until I got Blue One. And even now, during that attack on the Wulgaru convoy...

What's important is to survive those. And you did well in La Gias, considering how crazy it was.

[tiger_ken]

[Ken suddenly drops in from... somewhere, poking Setsuko on the shoulder.

And then he flicks her.]

[star_of_sad]

Huh? Oh, Ken-ku... ah! What was that for?

[tiger_ken]

For being silly.

[Utterly serious.]

How many genoaces have I broken? How badly did ScarleTiger get wrecked from its last encounter?

You're fine. Just... had some bad luck is all.

[ugyuuya]

Well whoever it was had the right idea on some level, you definitely seem to work well enough with the other two members of your unit and even with a badly damaged mech you were able to at sortie more effectively than most of the Genoace pilots.

[Yuuya's voice comes clearly from behind the moping pilot.]

I didn't mean to scare you but I was worried, I know there were no serious wounds on your team despite what happened but it looked pretty bad. But even our units weren't able to fight them off effectively, the only reason I didn't wind up like you did is that I had a shield, even with that we had to replace several outer armor plates and re-adjust the carbon fibers that make up the artificial muscle system. I swear whatever those things are they're worse than BETA in some ways.

[star_of_sad]

Well, the thing is that we fought BETA a lot longer than those... things. We had time to develop countermeasures and tactics.

While the ones we used for this operation stopped working.

[ugyuuya]

And we still had much lower casualty rates against those monsters than we continue to have in the battles against the BETA.

I wouldn't sell yourself short, after I read the reports from the last operation in La Gias I'm not sure we could have done much better than you did.

[caressthedarkness]

If you describe your position that way...it makes me want to return as well...

[star_of_sad]

Ah! Please don't think that, you didn't do anything wrong to deserve it!

... Or did you?

[caressthedarkness]

Even though I am supposed to be the Foundation's representative, I am also one of its newer members.

What you said reminded me that I am here on behalf of those who have fought for many, many years. It just seems...ill-fitting.

[a_linear_mind]

Personally I think you're being too tough on yourself.

[star_of_sad]

This is a sort of... elite unit, you could say. I feel like I am lagging behind everyone else.

[a_linear_mind]

Elite huh?

I don't think that applies to a lot of us. Yours truly included.

Hard fights happen, things go wrong, you shouldn't be blaming yourself for what happened.

[dolorous_sensei]

Going home would be nice, isn't it? Away from all these violence...

[star_of_sad]

Umm.

Not that I want to encourage you to do this Lt Schmertz, but why didn't you leave if this is what you think?

[dolorous_sensei]

Hey, it's my line! I'm the one who's supposed to say that now!

[keep_your_dignity]

SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, THEN? LEAVE?

[star_of_sad]

If I did that, I'd fail everyone even more, wouldn't I.

[keep_your_dignity]

WHETHER YOU DID FAIL THEM OR WHATEVER OR NOT, YOU WOULD BLAME YOURSELF AND PROBABLY END UP COMING BACK ANYWAY. SO STOP THINKING ABOUT LEAVING AND GOING HOME BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO IT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT, AND START THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO TO REDUCE THIS PROBLEM OF YOURS