Performance anxiety

[star_of_sad]

[Virgola unit 3 was wrecked. Then it was repaired... and wrecked again, along with Setsuko's self-esteem.

At this rate, the mobile suit will never regain full functionality. The damage is just too severe.]

I really am a failure... even after all that happened, it's as if I learnt nothing.

Who thought it was a good idea to give a newbie position in the Glory Stars test team? Maybe I should just... go home...

[The pilot can be found moping not too far away from the hangar. It's like if Setsuko was reluctant to leave her own unit's field of vision.]

Comments

[majestic_keiki]

Hi.

[Kei came up next to her, carrying two bars of chocolate. Almost like she was prepared for running into Setsuko.]

I heard about the previous mission. Do you want to talk?

[star_of_sad]

I don't know if it's going to change anything.

[Setsuko's smile looks even more forced than usual.]

But, alright.

[majestic_keiki]

[Kei wordlessly offered one of the chocolate bars to share it.] I've been the failure myself, back at the academy, and I know how it feels to not be sure you're worth anything. But I don't think you're right. We've fought together on several missions and I've never seen you be one.

[star_of_sad]

Thank you.

[Setsuko accepts the gift. She'd chomp into it immediately, but you know. Talking.]

Well.
There's proof, right here.

[She looks up at the damaged Virgola.]

[majestic_keiki]

I've fought those things...Everything went to hell, several units got destroyed. From the reports things were no better here. It's not your fault. We still don't know a good way to fight them.

And La Gias was Dr. Shirakawa asking us to head into a death trap. More units were ruined than still standing at the end of it.

[cloningblues]

I heard the last battle was a mess.

...This feels very familiar.

[tiger_ken]

[Ken suddenly drops in from... somewhere, poking Setsuko on the shoulder.

And then he flicks her.]

[star_of_sad]

That makes sense. You're only stating the facts as they are.

Still, it just shows how high the stakes are. Sometimes, when I look at powerful machines and veteran or uniquely gifted pilots the rest of Unity Group has, I feel so... little.

[Setsuko sighs - not dejectedly. It is a sigh of relief.]

I'm sorry for whining. I just had to get it off my chest.

[star_of_sad]

Yes. It was rather... scary, too.

I really thought it was over for me.

[star_of_sad]

Huh? Oh, Ken-ku... ah! What was that for?

[ugyuuya]

Well whoever it was had the right idea on some level, you definitely seem to work well enough with the other two members of your unit and even with a badly damaged mech you were able to at sortie more effectively than most of the Genoace pilots.

[Yuuya's voice comes clearly from behind the moping pilot.]

I didn't mean to scare you but I was worried, I know there were no serious wounds on your team despite what happened but it looked pretty bad. But even our units weren't able to fight them off effectively, the only reason I didn't wind up like you did is that I had a shield, even with that we had to replace several outer armor plates and re-adjust the carbon fibers that make up the artificial muscle system. I swear whatever those things are they're worse than BETA in some ways.

[caressthedarkness]

If you describe your position that way...it makes me want to return as well...

[a_linear_mind]

Personally I think you're being too tough on yourself.

[tiger_ken]

For being silly.

[Utterly serious.]

How many genoaces have I broken? How badly did ScarleTiger get wrecked from its last encounter?

You're fine. Just... had some bad luck is all.

[dolorous_sensei]

Going home would be nice, isn't it? Away from all these violence...

[majestic_keiki]

Don't worry...People need to talk after something like that. I can still remember how I felt after the first battle with them.

[cloningblues]

Sometimes you get into a fight that's just over your head. The same thing happened to me... Hell, it happened all the time until I got Blue One. And even now, during that attack on the Wulgaru convoy...

What's important is to survive those. And you did well in La Gias, considering how crazy it was.

[star_of_sad]

Terrible, wasn't it? That makes it the two of us.

[star_of_sad]

As long as we live, we didn't lose?

That is quite a mature stance for your age.

[star_of_sad]

Ah... I wish I had this kind of confidence.

But I'm not trying to argue. I guess... I guess you are right, Ken-kun. Does luck really affect us that much?

[Setsuko hastily adds.]

There's no need to answer that. I know it does, from experience.

[star_of_sad]

Well, the thing is that we fought BETA a lot longer than those... things. We had time to develop countermeasures and tactics.

While the ones we used for this operation stopped working.

[star_of_sad]

Ah! Please don't think that, you didn't do anything wrong to deserve it!

... Or did you?

[star_of_sad]

This is a sort of... elite unit, you could say. I feel like I am lagging behind everyone else.

[star_of_sad]

Umm.

Not that I want to encourage you to do this Lt Schmertz, but why didn't you leave if this is what you think?

[tiger_ken]

Heh, if luck wasn't so much of an issue, I'd do way better at cards against Kaname.

[...That... that really isn't 'just' luck in his case.]

Maybe you could... I dunno... use the repair time as downtime?