The knight, the human, Sielje's life

[stupidhonor]

[It's over. Ishin is slain, his true nature revealed. Ankaia lies in ruins, many of its artifacts lost. It will not be able to sustain itself much longer - but Ynya and Kimhone promised to lead it to restoration, through cooperation with Earth, and wisdom: knowing whom they can trust, and who to avoid. But...]

I broke everyone's trust. I withheld things of importance. I was no Burned Out. Everyone assumed it but I never corrected them. And... I raised my hand against them. Such gratefulness.

[Sielje speaks to herself as she tries to sneak out from the base. She doesn't know where to go - but she cannot stay here.]

How can I face them anymore? After all I did? My... friends?


...


...

[Her steps cease.]


...

I... cannot.

I cannot disappear from everyone's lives. And I... definitely cannot forget. Even if it means facing them, and pain. I will not.

I am so stupid.

[She turns around and moves back - to the base, and to face the rest of her life, starting today.]

Comments

[majestic_keiki]

You could always stay on Earth for a while to do something for Ankaia or learn some skill before going back. Or you can visit regularly or similar.

[stupidhonor]

I could, yes. But... except for fighting, what can I even do?

[Sielje seems to be seriously considering the question.]

[majestic_keiki]

You can learn something else. Just because you've only fought until now, doesn't mean it's the only thing you can ever do.

[stupidhonor]

That is true, but - I did not mind it. Despite me being weak, and everything else... I fought at first because I was forced to, but I did not mind that life.

I will give this thought.

[majestic_keiki]

Right. Nothing is forcing you.

[stupidhonor]

Nothing is indeed. But...

[Sielje cannot help but wonder now.]

Do you know perhaps, what others of Unity Group will want to do in the future?

[majestic_keiki]

I only know about myself and Izuru. I'm going to become a doctor and he wants to join space exploration. I wonder what others want.

[stupidhonor]

That does not sound easy. I wish you luck in your endeavour.

[Nevermind that Sielje does not know what any of those do, except for in the most vague sense.]

[majestic_keiki]

Thanks...And they're pretty tough. It'll take more than a decade to become a doctor and space exploration is dangerous and needs lots of specialized training.

[stupidhonor]

A decade?

[Sielje blinks in surprise.]

Life on Earth is hard... if I started this now, I would be old before I finish...

[majestic_keiki]

You're what? 25? You won't even be 40 by the time you're a fully licensed surgeon or whatever. Some specialties take less time.

27 actually

[stupidhonor]

Yes, something like that. Well...

[Sielje's gaze turns to the side, as usual when she is embarassed.]

On Ankaia, it is expected that by my age you would already build a name and reputation for yourself. It is not dishonorable not to, but...

Re: 27 actually

[majestic_keiki]

Oh...Here you're really only getting started at your age. Usually, at least. Even if Ankaia thinks differently, you've got a lot of time to find something to do and get good at it.

[stupidhonor]

I suppose... you may be right. Either way, I am no burned out. And even if I were... there are still things in life I can do. Sometimes, just living may be enough.

[majestic_keiki]

Right. You just need to figure out what you want to do.

[stupidhonor]

Yes. I have said so already that I know not.

But hopefully, one day I will. And when that day comes, you will know.

[majestic_keiki]

Right. And if there's anything I can do to help you work it out, I will.