Always darkest before pitch black

[empress_without_a_throne]

[1]

[When she awakes, Mizuki finds herself no longer in the DuskBird and the battle is long since ended.  The second battle with SolEraser, and her desperate, last attempt at taking the machine down... it's still fresh in her mind.  But she's in the infirmary, bandaged and with whatever deep see-based medicines the Unity Group had on-hand in case they were needed.  She felt... weary.]

What happened out there?

[And it's then that the medical staff gets to break the news to her.  About just what happened to SolSavior and the power it had unleashed.]



-But if I'd done that much to SolSavior itself, then...

Oh God!

[2]



[And some time later, Mizuki is just, lying in a sobbing heap nearby Ken and Dido's beds.  It was the SolBalmung incident all over again... there was just a hard limit to how much Void energy a human being can be exposed to and Ken and Dido had skirted dangerously close to it.  She had done this.  She had brought forth all the power of the Abyss Empress to bring down on the Eraser team, but it was her own friends and comrades that'd paid the price for it.  SolSavior itself lay wrecked even more than before, and this too was her doing.  And even if her body was in better shape now, her mind...]

Stop it...

[It's barely above a whisper.]

Stop congratulating me... all of you!  I'm not Marianas!  I'm not here to cause suffering!  I didn't want... I never wanted any of this!

Comments

[empress_without_a_throne]

Of course they wouldn't have!

[She lets out a weary groan. Ren's patience and understanding were more than she would've expected, and giving her more leeway than she felt she deserved.]

Even if it was just hold up a barrier again and give everyone else a chance to snipe SolEraser...

[Never mind that the barrier probably wouldn't have held against that shot. Her head drops back down for her to look at the floor.]

I just... can't look at what happened, and how I feel now... and think I did things right.

[jianai]

It doesn't matter if it was "right" or not. All that matters is that you were trying to help others - and you did.

[empress_without_a_throne]

... I wish I could share your feelings on this...

All I can see is that I hurt good people by accident, rather than intentionally like I was meant to. But the end result's the same... and if I'd killed Ken and Dido -or even if my aura reached those civilians- would you be more forgiving?

[jianai]

You know I would be just as forgiving.

It's the thought that matters.