Always darkest before pitch black

[empress_without_a_throne]

[1]

[When she awakes, Mizuki finds herself no longer in the DuskBird and the battle is long since ended.  The second battle with SolEraser, and her desperate, last attempt at taking the machine down... it's still fresh in her mind.  But she's in the infirmary, bandaged and with whatever deep see-based medicines the Unity Group had on-hand in case they were needed.  She felt... weary.]

What happened out there?

[And it's then that the medical staff gets to break the news to her.  About just what happened to SolSavior and the power it had unleashed.]



-But if I'd done that much to SolSavior itself, then...

Oh God!

[2]



[And some time later, Mizuki is just, lying in a sobbing heap nearby Ken and Dido's beds.  It was the SolBalmung incident all over again... there was just a hard limit to how much Void energy a human being can be exposed to and Ken and Dido had skirted dangerously close to it.  She had done this.  She had brought forth all the power of the Abyss Empress to bring down on the Eraser team, but it was her own friends and comrades that'd paid the price for it.  SolSavior itself lay wrecked even more than before, and this too was her doing.  And even if her body was in better shape now, her mind...]

Stop it...

[It's barely above a whisper.]

Stop congratulating me... all of you!  I'm not Marianas!  I'm not here to cause suffering!  I didn't want... I never wanted any of this!

Comments

[actuallyselfish]

"Whas..."

Did stirrs on her bed, arm reflexively scratching at the IV in her arm. "Did we..."

[empress_without_a_throne]

[She was awake. Thank God... Ken at least had some degree of physical training and resilience, but for Dido there'd been that worrying, wiggling thread of fear that she'd never wake up. That exposure to that kind of Void energy would've done too much to her.]

... Yes and no.

We managed to take down that big warship, so scratch another Indalph leader. But SolEraser... got away.

Dido, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!

[Tears are starting to well up anew as she just balls her hands up into fists.]

2

[jianai]

Of course you didn't.

[Ren approaches quietly, and speaks up only when the timing is appropriate.]

You never wanted to hurt your friends. All you did waas to protect them. Them, and others.

[empress_without_a_throne]

And look where it got them. They didn't ask for this, they probably didn't even think it was a possibility!

I didn't even...

... I just wanted to help people. That's... the reason it's SolSavior!

2

[63rd_shockwave]

...Heard you had some trouble.

[Sarah will wait to approach Mizuki until the abyss empress is outside Dido and Ken's rooms.]

[empress_without_a_throne]

I wish all we had was "some trouble".

... SolEraser showed up again. The maneuver we all trained for didn't exactly work out as well as I would've liked though... and ultimately we were locked in a situation where it was try to defend against SolEraser's Horizon Buster beam... or just get out of the way and let a lot of innocent people die.

We stood our ground, and I didn't want to lose. I wanted... to save everyone! And when I drew out everything I had in me to bolster SolSavior...

Well, this is a world of Light. There's only so much Darkness I can bring out before there starts being consequences. And I was an idiot to not think Ken and Dido would pay for it.

2

[a_louse]

What's going to happen to them? What are the consequences of the ability you used?

[empress_without_a_throne]

If they're exposed to Void energy of any noticeable quantity in the foreseeable future... they'll die.

My energy... it's like a poison, a life force that runs completely contrary to how things on this planet work. That's why I get sick when I eat normal food, or feel uncomfortable when I'm in contact with sunlight. I was engineered to be able to at least endure moderate exposure, but they...

... It's not the first time Solaris pilots have been put through this. And it's proven fatal in the past.

[actuallyselfish]

"What?" Dido says blinking her eyes. "No! I mean, c'mon! What've you got to be sorry for? You saved the day...you saved everyone in that city!"

She tries to move and winces. "Don't cry...!"

[jianai]

If they knew this was coming, would your friends have acted any way different?

[empress_without_a_throne]

And if I'd killed you and Ken? Or if that maneuver hadn't worked at all?

Are we going to just go into every fight knowing that we'll have to risk blowing it apart and us with it if the enemy's too strong?

[empress_without_a_throne]

Of... course they would've! Dido would've flipped out about the kinds of repairs and said to try a different way. Ken, would've come up with something else. Sometimes he overthinks things but I was so... stupid to just try to match the Eraser team blow for blow...!

[jianai]

So you're saying they'd let the enemies blast that city and kill a lot of people?

[a_louse]

But right now they are safe, aren't they?

[empress_without_a_throne]

Of course they wouldn't have!

[She lets out a weary groan. Ren's patience and understanding were more than she would've expected, and giving her more leeway than she felt she deserved.]

Even if it was just hold up a barrier again and give everyone else a chance to snipe SolEraser...

[Never mind that the barrier probably wouldn't have held against that shot. Her head drops back down for her to look at the floor.]

I just... can't look at what happened, and how I feel now... and think I did things right.

[empress_without_a_throne]

For now, yes. The worst of the rejection process is over.

But it doesn't mean it's something people should just write off. And if those civilians had been closer, they might've even been in a similar boat as them. Or even worse...

[a_louse]

This is a decision you had to make in the heat of a moment. Its consequences are now your responsibility.

If you didn't do it, the most likely outcome is that all those people, your teammates, and possibly you would die. The result we got is a better alternative. Now, it's up to you to ensure Ken and Dido won't be exposed to Void energies again.

Can you do it?

[actuallyselfish]

"...when has that ever not been the case?"

[empress_without_a_throne]

For the time being... yes.

But if we find ourselves in another situation like that in the future... I don't know. The more I'm thinking about it now, the more I wonder if the whole idea between combining the DuskBird with two Sol machines was just putting a square peg in a round hole.

[empress_without_a_throne]

Dido, don't... joke about that! Not now!

I nearly killed you out there!

1)

[sang_av_helten]

[Mizuki. You feel something batting at your leg. It was like someone poking a fuzzy thing at it.]

Mizuki? Mizuki teammate of Dido of Sybil?

[The voice was somewhat less gruff than usual. In fact it was more tired, more anxious. It was Skald. Unsure if he was able to get through to her he lets out a low rumbling noise... then jumps onto her, squirming himself under a hand. Hoping that it would calm her a little.]

2

[tiger_ken]

Who are you talking to?

[Ryuko appears, like a flicker out of shadow.]

[empress_without_a_throne]

Yes?

[She looks down at the cat, deciding after a point to stroke his big, fluffy body.]

[empress_without_a_throne]

Who else?

[She gestures up into the air.]

My predecessors. They're gone, but... if there's an afterlife for normal people there's probably one for them too. And they're probably celebrating what just happened.

I'm... sorry though. For what I did to your son...

[tiger_ken]

I'm not really the one that needs such apologies. And besides...

There's no way he'll be mad at you about it either.