Feeling down

[majestic_keiki]

[As deaths, messed-up terrorists, close calls and incredibly embarrassing pilot suits piled up over the last few weeks Kei have been visibly appearing more and more stressed when not needed to seem strong to comfort those more personally affected. At a quiet moment somewhere without a huge crowd, she let out a comment on it after a long, awkward pause.]

This is what it means to be a soldier, isn't it? At least when a major war is going on.

Comments

[herodrawing]

Don't worry Kei, I bet the worst is behind us now.

[majestic_keiki]

Yeah, maybe you're right. These last few weeks have been a lot worse than back in spring. Perhaps we've just been unlucky.

[feurig_gungnir]

I thought I was the one having a rough week.

[herodrawing]

A hero will face good times and bad times too, what matters is that we don't give up.

We can save the abducted person, and even if sad things happened, think about all the good you've done!

[majestic_keiki]

You mean Sara? I'm pretty sure she wasn't just abducted...

[She paused for a bit, looking somewhat uncertain.] I just don't know what we're doing. We were told about it in the academy, but it's something else to be part of it.

[majestic_keiki]

True

I guess being told about what to expect isn't the same as actually being out in it.

[herodrawing]

What we're doing? We're helping people, right?

[majestic_keiki]

Well, yeah...But we didn't really choose to do so. We weren't even asked about it. And are we really succeeding after these last few days?

[herodrawing]

We can't always win. It's like we're back at the academy...

Maybe we really are the Fail Five.

[majestic_keiki]

Yeah...I hope you're right that the worst is over and it'll get better soon. I guess it might be easier for those who at least chose this.

[herodrawing]

Hmm.

Would you rather be somewhere else, Kei?

[majestic_keiki]

I don't know. I just wish I'd been given a choice. I mean, even our time off was just something we were ordered to take.

[gold_four]

Could be worse. Least we were born in an era with decent transport, equipment, and medicine. You ever see some of the equipment they used to fight with? Imagine if they had that in our situation.

[majestic_keiki]

Yes, and we're not showed in at Stalingrad or running through the desert in metal armor. But we're still soldiers with all the risk it means and we didn't even choose it ourselves.

[gold_four]

Well, if that's how you feel, you could always leave. I mean, yeah there'd be a tonne of backlash, but considering the world knows about us, the military wouldn't exactly be able to do anything if you announced an early retirement.

[...He may only be half joking.]

[dolorous_sensei]

Have you regretted being a soldier yet?

[majestic_keiki]

I'm not sure that's what I want. It'd mean abandoning everyone and it's all I know anyway. Not sure the military would let me leave anyway. I just wish I'd been given a choice on all this.

[majestic_keiki]

You can't regret a choice that was made for you.

Besides, I could ask the same of you. You certainly sound like you have and you stay.

[herodrawing]

Yeah...

But you know.

Even if I had a choice, I'd probably just end up helping Unity Group anyway.

[majestic_keiki]

Yeah, you're not right. I'm not sure what I'd have done...I'm not sure who I'd have been if I were in a position to be given a choice.

[She paused, smiling a bit awkwardly.]

I think I might have joined along with the rest of you, though.

[keep_your_dignity]

SOMETIMES. IT'S NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND LOLLIPOPS. IT'S BETTER TO NOT GET TOO ATTACHED TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR. IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE IN THIS LINE OF JOB.

[Kagura is silent for a while as they continue walking. Having no face makes her thoughts as inscrutable as usual, though]

[majestic_keiki]

...And going around all lonely and without any emotional support is better?

[keep_your_dignity]

THAN THE ALTERNATIVE?

OFTEN, YES.

[Well, that's not grim or anything. But then, this is Kagura]

TELL ME SOMETHING, KUGIMIYA. I'M AWARE OF THE BASICS OF THE MAJESTIC PRINCE PROGRAM.

DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE HERE?

[majestic_keiki]

It's hard to tell. I haven't tried having a choice on being here or not...But I know I wanted to be given a choice or to get to choose what to do when given a leave instead of even that being based on orders.

[gold_four]

Well... you could always talk to Yancy. You know, of the Beckett brothers? He was pretty aghast when I told him all about how we got signed on.

Though... I wonder what the talk was like. When they came to pick us up from our foster families.