A person's recollection

[stupidhonor]

To have one final chance to speak to your parents, only to see them fade away in front of your eyes - how painful must it feel? Very so, and yet so many would wish for it regardless...

[Sielje speaks solemnly, mulling in front of her Knight's Arm. The unit is slouched forward and damaged after a fierce fight, but it stands peacefully - using its shield to rest its hands. The shield that bears the hastily painted insignia.]

The Ebon King - I understand, you and the plight of your daughter. I understand and sympathize... but I cannot promise to move blame for all her crimes and heinous deeds on you. This is not my call to make, I will swear a vow only if I can keep it.

...

[Sielje's gaze slowly turns to the pile of scrap metal under the Arm's feet.]


I may need another pike.

Comments

[a_monetized_mind]

Look, don't...It's not that bad. I just needed someone to lean on, you did fine.

[She rubs at her neck again. How to keep the moe knight from being depressed?]

...And I'm not upset about your parents or anything, just...surprised. I kinda assumed they'd be knights or guards, not machinists.

[stupidhonor]

I can do that much, at least.

[Sielje will always be there as an object to rest on. An object that stays silent for a bit, gathering her thoughts before finally responding.]

Nobody from my village was famous. It was only a small settlement... Sansone and Faolan were responsible for its machines, they were very skilled and of some renown among other machinists. But that is not the way towards fame and glory on Ankaia.

[a_monetized_mind]

Well, hey. Not like you need to be famous to be happy.

["were", huh. Maybe best not to touch on that.]

...We're gonna have to fight more monsters like that guy, aren't we.

[stupidhonor]

I really hope not.

Yet this is most likely what will happen no matter what, with my wishes or against them.

[a_monetized_mind]

Yeah..

...There is something I'd like to ask you, before one of us gets hurt. And...If it's too hard a question, you don't have to answer right away.

[stupidhonor]

[That's sudden, and not like the usual Jen.]

I am listening.

[a_monetized_mind]

[Deep breath, Jen. Figure outa way to navigate this without ruining your friendship.]

Well...The way you felt about Ynya...Do you feel the same way about me?

I ask, because...You seem like you might keep that to yourself. And...While you said no back at the mall that time, I wasn't interested then.

I am now.

1/2

[stupidhonor]

Ah.

Ah.

I see...

...

[Awkward, un-knightlike fidgeting commences. Sielje opens her mouth, but closes it without saying anything. This needs further thought given into it.]

2/2

[stupidhonor]

Jen, I. I need to explain myself.

Ynya and Kimhone chose each other, and then became husband and wife. I felt... hurt. You know this already. But also, I...

[Sielje gulps. Why does this hurt to admit so much?]

I wanted to distance myself from it all. I thought, neither Ynya nor Kimhone love me because I was weak. They are strong and more fitting for each other. So... I did not deserve it. Or maybe, by casting away this kind of thing, I would better focus on my own path, growing stronger but alone.


They are going to have a child soon. I thought, to see two great warriors focus on family instead of fighting is wasteful, is it not? But I see how stupid my thought was. It was a thought that hurts and disrespects, both my friends, and my fathers.

I was trying to run away. Run away and hurt everyone, even myself. Back then, when I told you that, it was the same. I hurt you too, did I not?

[a_monetized_mind]

[That's...not either of the answers Jen was really preparing for.]

No, you didn't. I mean...I was a little upset, but you did apologize and feel bad. So, no, I wasn't hurt.

...Sielje, where are you going with this? If you're worried if you deserve nice things...

[stupidhonor]

I... want to say yes. I really do.

This is so complicated. I made it - made it complicated for myself.

I am afraid it may not work out. It is still me we are talking about.

[More fidgeting continues.]

Jen, are you certain? I may still end up hurting you in the end.

[a_monetized_mind]

...I was certain before I asked.

I was certain that-if you did have those sorts of feelings for me-I wouldn't want them to go unsanswered. Even if things don't work out, I'd like to try.

[She puts a hand on Sielje's shoulder, trying to be comforting.]

Besides, I think you're selling yourself short. You're a better person than you realize.

[stupidhonor]

It is not about me being a good person or not...

[Sielje's own hand moves to her shoulder, resting on top of Jen's.]

I make no promises. But... but at least we should try, no? Try the "dating" thing we spoke about so long ago.

I would like that. Is that fine?