A person's recollection

[stupidhonor]

To have one final chance to speak to your parents, only to see them fade away in front of your eyes - how painful must it feel? Very so, and yet so many would wish for it regardless...

[Sielje speaks solemnly, mulling in front of her Knight's Arm. The unit is slouched forward and damaged after a fierce fight, but it stands peacefully - using its shield to rest its hands. The shield that bears the hastily painted insignia.]

The Ebon King - I understand, you and the plight of your daughter. I understand and sympathize... but I cannot promise to move blame for all her crimes and heinous deeds on you. This is not my call to make, I will swear a vow only if I can keep it.

...

[Sielje's gaze slowly turns to the pile of scrap metal under the Arm's feet.]


I may need another pike.

Comments

[stupidhonor]

I really hope not.

Yet this is most likely what will happen no matter what, with my wishes or against them.

[a_monetized_mind]

Yeah..

...There is something I'd like to ask you, before one of us gets hurt. And...If it's too hard a question, you don't have to answer right away.

[stupidhonor]

[That's sudden, and not like the usual Jen.]

I am listening.

[a_monetized_mind]

[Deep breath, Jen. Figure outa way to navigate this without ruining your friendship.]

Well...The way you felt about Ynya...Do you feel the same way about me?

I ask, because...You seem like you might keep that to yourself. And...While you said no back at the mall that time, I wasn't interested then.

I am now.

1/2

[stupidhonor]

Ah.

Ah.

I see...

...

[Awkward, un-knightlike fidgeting commences. Sielje opens her mouth, but closes it without saying anything. This needs further thought given into it.]

2/2

[stupidhonor]

Jen, I. I need to explain myself.

Ynya and Kimhone chose each other, and then became husband and wife. I felt... hurt. You know this already. But also, I...

[Sielje gulps. Why does this hurt to admit so much?]

I wanted to distance myself from it all. I thought, neither Ynya nor Kimhone love me because I was weak. They are strong and more fitting for each other. So... I did not deserve it. Or maybe, by casting away this kind of thing, I would better focus on my own path, growing stronger but alone.


They are going to have a child soon. I thought, to see two great warriors focus on family instead of fighting is wasteful, is it not? But I see how stupid my thought was. It was a thought that hurts and disrespects, both my friends, and my fathers.

I was trying to run away. Run away and hurt everyone, even myself. Back then, when I told you that, it was the same. I hurt you too, did I not?

[a_monetized_mind]

[That's...not either of the answers Jen was really preparing for.]

No, you didn't. I mean...I was a little upset, but you did apologize and feel bad. So, no, I wasn't hurt.

...Sielje, where are you going with this? If you're worried if you deserve nice things...

[stupidhonor]

I... want to say yes. I really do.

This is so complicated. I made it - made it complicated for myself.

I am afraid it may not work out. It is still me we are talking about.

[More fidgeting continues.]

Jen, are you certain? I may still end up hurting you in the end.

[a_monetized_mind]

...I was certain before I asked.

I was certain that-if you did have those sorts of feelings for me-I wouldn't want them to go unsanswered. Even if things don't work out, I'd like to try.

[She puts a hand on Sielje's shoulder, trying to be comforting.]

Besides, I think you're selling yourself short. You're a better person than you realize.

[stupidhonor]

It is not about me being a good person or not...

[Sielje's own hand moves to her shoulder, resting on top of Jen's.]

I make no promises. But... but at least we should try, no? Try the "dating" thing we spoke about so long ago.

I would like that. Is that fine?