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srwu Oct. 25th, 2015 09:04 pm)
a_monetized_mind posting in srwu Oct. 25th, 2015 09:04 pm)[1] - The Feeling Of Having Dodged A Bullet (right after mission)
After the battle at Sakihama, a new unit is dragged into the base-the black-and orange Nemain, a spiky 10 meter thing and the unit Jen was piloting. It now has a giant metal stake through its chest and cockpit, the back of which is covered in blood. It doesn't respond to being dragged around, but automatically starts to devour the area around it-so it's been left outside of the hangar. It is repairing itself-after a few minutes, the stake is devoured by its nanobots, and it starts to resume its original shape. Getting into the cockpit to help treat Jen isn't happening-the nanobot cloud knocks backwards anyone who gets too close.
It's when more drastic measures involving the use of superpowers and weaponry start to be discussed that its cockpit opens. Jen comes out on a liftwire to the ground-covered in blood, her clothes torn to shreds, and holding a briefcase. She touches down on the ground barefoot, stumbles, and falls flat on her ass.
"Jesus christ...it worked."
[2] - Reconcilliation
[Later, Jen can be found in a calmer common area. By now, word may have gotten around that her betrayal was all an elaborate ploy-or it might not have. Either way, she's drinking some tea in her usual clothes, as though nothing had happened at all.]
After the battle at Sakihama, a new unit is dragged into the base-the black-and orange Nemain, a spiky 10 meter thing and the unit Jen was piloting. It now has a giant metal stake through its chest and cockpit, the back of which is covered in blood. It doesn't respond to being dragged around, but automatically starts to devour the area around it-so it's been left outside of the hangar. It is repairing itself-after a few minutes, the stake is devoured by its nanobots, and it starts to resume its original shape. Getting into the cockpit to help treat Jen isn't happening-the nanobot cloud knocks backwards anyone who gets too close.
It's when more drastic measures involving the use of superpowers and weaponry start to be discussed that its cockpit opens. Jen comes out on a liftwire to the ground-covered in blood, her clothes torn to shreds, and holding a briefcase. She touches down on the ground barefoot, stumbles, and falls flat on her ass.
"Jesus christ...it worked."
[2] - Reconcilliation
[Later, Jen can be found in a calmer common area. By now, word may have gotten around that her betrayal was all an elaborate ploy-or it might not have. Either way, she's drinking some tea in her usual clothes, as though nothing had happened at all.]
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From:
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[Jen gets up.]
...
[Without warning, she brings Sielje into a hug-tight, and close.]
Sorry.
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no subject
[That was unexpected. Sielje doesn't flail though, nor try to resist. But her gaze falls to the side as her head turns slightly in embarassment.]
You have, I mean - I too have much...
Much to apologize for. Yes.
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no subject
No...you don't.
I went off on my own, and I made you worry and hurt because of it. I only thought about my own feelings, and I...I...
[She squeezes tighter.]
I'm sorry, Sielje.
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But since it was...
Since it was, then it is alright.
Everyone hides something. For one reason, or another. Even if it hurts...
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It doesn't feel alright. At least not for me...
...I meant those things I said. About being upset at everyone, and feeling judged...
...But, more than anyone else, it was never my intention to hurt you.
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[Sielje takes a step back as well.]
I understand. Your thoughts are not unknown to me, this is why I understand them. To feel not right. To not want to hurt someone, but do so anyway.
I too have things to apologize for. And...
Things I want you to know about.
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What is it?
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no subject
[Sielje takes a deep breath.]
I was... envious. Envious of everyone - Ynya, Kimhone. It feels as if everything came to them so easily while I struggle in vain. And, I loved them, but instead of choosing me, they chose each other. I could not take it, I ran away. I hid and nursed my bitterness.
And now, when I stand along Unity Group, and near you... I feel the same. I am jealous still, envious of those around me and their talents, even knowing how much everyone had to sacrifice to reach where they are now.
How ingrateful is that? Is it not... shameful?
From:
Also: So You're Telling Me There's A Chance
[For a while, that is Jen's only response. Figuring out how to handle these feelings of Sielje's is a difficult balancing act.]
I...Well, it means you're not a saint. But...I don't think you need to feel guilty about it. It matters more what you do with those feelings, than just having them. And you're not actually plotting against everyone, so.
Besides, you've got plenty of things for me to be envious of.
[The last part is said perfectly naturally, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.]
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cough
...
You are envious, Jen? Of me from all people?
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BUT THERE'S A CHANCE
People trust you, and like you. It...doesn't feel that way with me. When I did the whole defection thing, Salwah said she knew something was wrong with me. Peola talked about me feeling wrong, too...
...You're a lot...better, of a person, than I am. And you're braver by a mile, too. I like that about you, but...I do envy it, sometimes.
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My bravery... was selfish. It was all done for my own self interest. I do not want to repeat myself - I spoke with others, and they said even so, it is bravery still. That may be truth, but...
I find it hard to accept. I find it hard to accept, because I find it hard to look at myself with approval. To think that others do, that you do...
I do not know how to respond. Jen, I...
Your ways are strange for Ankaia and many would look down on them, with contempt. Some do even on Earth. But I... appreciate your company. It is important to me.
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[Right, Jen wasn't here for the bit that dragged those feelings of envy into the open.]
And...Thanks.
It's good to know I've got at least one fan.
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Anyway! Yes. I spoke the truth. And...
Whatever dictated your own actions, they too are good. You helped everyone. This is what matters most.