A burned out failure

[stupidhonor]

...

...

By popular decision of the Lords, Ankaia will wage war on Earth. Ishin will be first in line, no doubt using his extraordinary might for great effect.

[Sielje is a mess. She sits with her head lowered, not bothering to change from her fancy dress - now torn and dusty from the fight.]

And it is all my fault.


If only... I was strong enough to face and defeat him...

If... only... I was stronger...!

[Her eyes are full of tears and you can hear pretty undignified sniffing.]

Comments

[majestic_keiki]

[Sielje's moment is not quite interrupted, but at least slightly disturbed by a Rabbit quietly putting down a cup of tea next to her. Other than this movement, Kei tries to stay close enough to offer her company without forcing it on the knight.]

[lostamigo]

[Daniel sits down heavily next to Sielje, holding two cups of hot chocolate. After an awkward second he offers one to her, wordlessly.]

[stupidhonor]

[Sielje's gaze is low even as she grabs for the cup. She says nothing for a while but eventually...]

I was complacent. I grew naive, and weak.

[stupidhonor]

I have failed you. Failed everyone.

[Sielje's hands clasp around the cup.]

You told me not to lose, but I did.

[lostamigo]

If you won, what'd Ishin do?

[Daniel sticks a very low straw into his cup.]

Wouldn't he try to find another reason? To start a war?

[stupidhonor]

No. My word would be law. A challenge's result cannot be overturned easily.

But he knew... he waited until there was no one strong to challenge him, there was only me. And he knew how weak I was. He looked down on me!

[majestic_keiki]

[With her presence accepted, Kei moves to sit next to Sielje as well.]

Believing in others isn't weakness. Enough of the people I've had to fight here have believed it is to tell me that. If they let you down, then it's their fault, not your.

[stupidhonor]

Only a child believes everyone to be fair. Some will hurt you. Some have hurt me.

Even so! Even if I trusted everyone, it would not be bad. If only I did everything I could, to be stronger. To not lose to Ishin so pathetically!

[a_monetized_mind]

Sielje? What happened? Why is everyone...

['Back so soon' is what she was going to say, but Sielje's explanation-and mood-kills that sentence dead.]



Sielje, I need you to tell me what happened.

[fourth_rider]

[Fyra stands there, her damaged limb already beginning its self-repairs, yet is still mostly in the form of a skeletal arm made of metal.

After a while of being clueless on how to approach this, she crouches to stare up at Sielje's face concernedly. Watching what people did after the Fleet of Batavia was attacked gives her an idea.]

...

[She brings up her damaged hand to gently touch Sielje's. Maybe this isn't the right way to do this. But she'll at least try.]

[stupidhonor]

The hired bandits of Fumerco attacked again. They could control beasts, almost as if...

Lord Ishin used this pretext to declare war on Earth. The only one present to challenge his decision was me. I had to fight to prevent it.

...

And I lost...

[stupidhonor]

[Sielje twitches at the touch - and seeing the limb that touched her, she twitches again.]

Your hand...

[But her gaze falls again.]

I am sorry. I cannot be a powerful artifact like you.

>tfw you told the bad guy how to not lose

[a_monetized_mind]

[Jen says nothing for an uncomfortably long time.]


...Look...You're still alive, right?

We'll get him.

[fourth_rider]

It will recover.

[The hand is slowly withdrawn, accompanied noise that sounds like internal mechanisms whining in protest.]

And you do not need to be.

[empress_without_a_throne]

[Have a tissue from a sympathizing Abyssian.]

Don't blame yourself for what happened. Even if you had won, Ishin would've found some way to still call for war.

It wouldn't be the first time an Ankaian who accepted a challenge from you changed their minds about its legitimacy.

[stupidhonor]

I am. But maybe I should not be...

This is my fault. My fault for being so weak.

[stupidhonor]

Then what can I be? Be what I am now? A knight who is so weak, her challenge was laughed at, whose failure has caused a war?

Is that alright?!

[stupidhonor]

No. Maybe... Maybe he would, but I have doubts.

[Sielje grabs the tissue and wipes her face with it, like it was a miniature towel.]

Ishin was not alone and there were more than just his allies there. The legitimacy of his claims would erode. If I endured more... just a while more!

[a_monetized_mind]

...

[Again, Jen is quiet as she thinks over her words.]

...That isn't the problem at all.

[empress_without_a_throne]

... Maybe.

[But trying to cheer Sielje up was only have the issue here, and reassuring her that Ishin was hell-bent on war wouldn't do anything to fix the real issue.]

But right now we're going to have another war on our hands, and none of us know how Ankaians go to war better than you. If there were some other way to bring them back to the table and consider peace, you're our best hope of figuring that out.

[stupidhonor]

[When Sielje's response comes, it's only a quiet whisper.]

... No...

[stupidhonor]

How is that not a problem?!

[empress_without_a_throne]

Are you saying you can't? Or they won't?

[fourth_rider]

No. Your current state will only bring you harm.

But becoming an artifact is not needed, nor is it possible.

[a_monetized_mind]

That's not-

-Well, okay. Ishin's a Lord, right? And all the Knights on Ankaia try their best to become that powerful?