A burned out failure

[stupidhonor]

...

...

By popular decision of the Lords, Ankaia will wage war on Earth. Ishin will be first in line, no doubt using his extraordinary might for great effect.

[Sielje is a mess. She sits with her head lowered, not bothering to change from her fancy dress - now torn and dusty from the fight.]

And it is all my fault.


If only... I was strong enough to face and defeat him...

If... only... I was stronger...!

[Her eyes are full of tears and you can hear pretty undignified sniffing.]

Comments

[empress_without_a_throne]

[Have a tissue from a sympathizing Abyssian.]

Don't blame yourself for what happened. Even if you had won, Ishin would've found some way to still call for war.

It wouldn't be the first time an Ankaian who accepted a challenge from you changed their minds about its legitimacy.

[stupidhonor]

No. Maybe... Maybe he would, but I have doubts.

[Sielje grabs the tissue and wipes her face with it, like it was a miniature towel.]

Ishin was not alone and there were more than just his allies there. The legitimacy of his claims would erode. If I endured more... just a while more!

[empress_without_a_throne]

... Maybe.

[But trying to cheer Sielje up was only have the issue here, and reassuring her that Ishin was hell-bent on war wouldn't do anything to fix the real issue.]

But right now we're going to have another war on our hands, and none of us know how Ankaians go to war better than you. If there were some other way to bring them back to the table and consider peace, you're our best hope of figuring that out.

[stupidhonor]

[When Sielje's response comes, it's only a quiet whisper.]

... No...

[empress_without_a_throne]

Are you saying you can't? Or they won't?

[stupidhonor]

Ankaia never had war. There were quarrels and grudges and even fights between lords and their men but never war. I do not know what will Ishin do...

I am not good at this! I am not Ynya, who knows politics! I can only fight...

But even that I am not good with...

[empress_without_a_throne]

No.

Do not talk like that.

You've been good enough to survive this far, and so long as you're alive you can work towards ending this war before too many people die. This Ishin sounds like he's proud to a fault...

And I'd rather be weak than arrogant.

[stupidhonor]

He is not arrogant for no reason... what can I do? If I face him again, how different will it go?

[empress_without_a_throne]

His arrogance will make him think you can't defeat him. That will be his downfall, if you take the steps needed to become stronger like you said.

[stupidhonor]

Steps? I took steps... I was trying my hardest for years, even before anyone knew who Ishin was!

And then he came, a mighty prodigy out of nowhere, while I remained where I am, still making no progress...

[empress_without_a_throne]

Then you're lucky to not be in the same place you were for that time.

[stupidhonor]

How am I not? I am the same as I was back then...

[empress_without_a_throne]

Look around you, Sielje. You came here as one of Moswar's followers, a face in a crowd of aggressors.

How many lives have you saved since then? How many times have you stood with others against threats that endangered Earth? Would you have been capable of that before you came here? In body or mind?

[stupidhonor]

... ...

I cannot tell. I know not.

[empress_without_a_throne]

Well some people are willing to say you have grown. So don't count yourself out yet.

[stupidhonor]

The question is... is it enough. Will it ever be enough.

Your words are... appreciated. I do not want to appear ungrateful.