Calvin did a thing

[in_over_his_head]

[Not too long ago the Command Car belonging to the 13th Genoace Team returned from parts unknown. Interestingly it seems to be festooned with rather ornate looking spears across its body. About a day or two ago Calvin figured he would try to follow up on one of the clues that the guidestone offered up.]

[While the team itself was no worse for wear, Calvin on the other hand looked like a half drowned rat when he stepped out of the car and was holding onto what looked to be an absurdly ornate egg carved out of solid gold, bearing a number of carvings depicting both death and rebirth.]

[Now sequestered back in his quarters, Calvin is huddled on his chair with a towel and a hot cup of coffee and trying to relax.]

-We hold power beyond imagination.-
-I hold the power to sift through dreams-
-I hold the power of life itself.-

Yes. I'm very sure the both of you do. Pipe down.

[And as it turns out the first artifact, a rather sinister looking mask as well as the egg could speak. And they are clearly not exactly the most benign of objects.]

-You cannot deny us forever.-

Please tell me we have soundproof boxes.

Comments

[actuallyselfish]

Dido pokes her head into Calvin's office with a box under her arm. "Yo, Calvin!" She calls out. "A package came for you in the mail! Shall I just leave it on your desk–?"

She glances at the mask and egg on the table, and her eyes glaze over. "Ooh...that looks pretty...!" she says, instinctively reaching a hand towards the mask.

[in_over_his_head]

[Calvin swats her hand on the knuckles with a pair of fingers, giving Dido a flat look.]

No touching the potentially posessed and dangerous artifacts Dido.

-Ignoooore hiiiim. Weaaar meeee. I am so prettyy-

... Really?

[actuallyselfish]

Dido blinks, snapped out of the mesmerizing influence of the mask. "Whoah!" She says. "Wow...there are really artifacts like that, huh? Artifacts of doom that make you go all..Gollumy."

She sets the package on Calvin's desk: its return address reads "40º Lat., 78.5º Long., Quicksilver Laser Array, Mercury". Dare you open it?

She pulls out a extendable probe and poke at the mask and egg from a safe distance. "So...do they give you evil superpowers?" She asks.

[in_over_his_head]

[He would, but not at the current moment. More important things to be done.]

Sometimes they do. The more time you spend with these ones though the more easy it is to throw the compulsions off.

-You cannot resist us foreveeer-

Already said that.

[Calvin watches as the egg tips over onto the mask]

-Remove the round one from meeee.-
-Place me back into my proper positiooooon.-

...No. You two can just stay like that. And to answer your question Dido, probably. Nothing as extreme as being able to shoot eye lasers or regenerate from being exploded.

Most of their power's been linked to keeping a gate shut. Doesn't keep them from trying to get some schmuck to put them on though and-

[He glances at something on the package. Specifically the delivery date. That itself wasn't too troubling but something else occurred to him.]

Hey Dido... what's the date today?

[actuallyselfish]

"July 2nd, 089 Something Something..." Dido says, eyebrows furrowing. "Why do you ask?"

[stupidhonor]

...

The objects spoke.

[Sielje tries not to look too surprised. After all Earth is full of things that talk.]

[in_over_his_head]

Yeah... apparently between the magic they have and the long time they got locked away they managed to gain minds of their own.

-We are all knowing-

Really obnoxious lying minds.

[stupidhonor]

You are surrounded by talking things every day. What difference is between them and those?

[Sielje glances at the egg, then enters a staring contest with the mask.]

Do you really know all there is?

[in_over_his_head]

The difference here is that these things weren't meant to gain minds of their own. I mean there are stories about weapons that gained sentience after being exposed to an absurd amount of bloodshed... maybe something similar happened with these two. Question is... what were they exposed to while being completely sealed away from the world...

[Calvin simply sighs, barely managing to stifle a sneeze before taking a mouthful of coffee. The mask simply stares back at Sielje with its empty eye holes. Yet despite this it would almost exude a chill in the air the longer it was stared at as well as a slight drowsiness.]

... I'm the last person anyone would say would know that much. My job's just to uncover truths... and believe me, there's probably a lot more than I can find in my lifetime.

[stupidhonor]

My apologies - these words were not meant for you.

I spoke to the mask.

[a_louse]

Is this supposed to be a joke? Did someone put a microphone in an egg?

[in_over_his_head]

If they are its a joke in terrible taste. But they've definitely taken a life of their own Mr Smith.

-We hold the knowledge of the days past and the days to come-

I'd rather not damage them trying to see if there was a microphone because we need them intact.

[a_louse]

Breaking them wouldn't be very professional. I have a better way to determine the credibility of those things. As much as a talking egg can be credible.

[Roger tries to pick up the relic, carefully.]

Tell me: do you know who I am?

[in_over_his_head]

[There is a series of low whispers before it answers.]

-You are... a human... one who makes it his business to meddle in others affairs.-

[That was... pretty close.]

No name, no occupation. Willing to bet its just making a shot in the dark to see if it sticks.

[a_louse]

Did you just consult each other to try giving me the best answer?

[dolorous_sensei]

Oh, you're alive. It's been a while. Where were you from?

[in_over_his_head]

... I have no idea if you're joking or not and I don't know if I should even dignify that with a response.

[dolorous_sensei]

Why is it a joke? Can't I be legitimately concerned about fellow Genoace team? And in this business, is it wrong to defaultly assume that someone is dead if you don't see them and their machines after a certain amount of time?

...is it wrong, isn't it? Damn this job and the atrophy of social etiquette it gives...

[in_over_his_head]

Well... no. I'm just actually surprised someone I work with is actually showing concern saying something like that.

Also, never assume someone is dead unless you see their corpse... and if they are alive - make sure they them and not just a demon possessed corpse or some skin wearing monster.

[dolorous_sensei]

Are you a demon wearing Calvin's skin?

[itbelongsinamuseum]

Hey, are you okay? That's just a movie or video game, right? [A voice can be heard shouting from the other side of the door, belonging to one of Unity Group's other people dealing with ancient magic.]

[in_over_his_head]

Yes I'm fine. No its not a video game or a movie.

-We are knowledge most ancient-

Liars most ancient more like it... wonder if wrapping you two in duct tape will do anything.

[itbelongsinamuseum]

...Who are you talking to?

[in_over_his_head]

Would you believe me if I said I was talking to a pair of extremely irritating ancient artifacts that gained sentience?

[itbelongsinamuseum]

...You're talking to somebody who runs around with a god and who lives on a base with the incarnation of a video game system. Or something like that.

Do they have anything interesting to say?