After the storm

[jianai]

[1]
[Late at night, Ren is looking up at the starry sky. It is peaceful and quiet, with wind gently blowing, a fresh breeze on everyone's faces.]

I was a fool, wasn't I?

If you close your heart, if you stay distant from others - then they can't really hurt you. And if you are not sure about someone's intentions, that is the best way to avoid disappointment and harm.

And yet...

And yet I will continue being a fool.

I am aware of horrible things human beings are capable of. I even experienced it first hand - this doesn't change anything. Because, every day, I am surrounded by proof of wonderful things people are capable of, too. People of Earth, and of other planets.

[Ren notices the shining object in the distance. It was not there just a few days' ago. Cybertron.]

Great kindness, incredible cruelty and everything in between. That's what it means to be human, doesn't it? Sorry for waxing so philosophically.

[2]
Hello!

[Ren approaches people they know with a glint in their eye. It might be time to run.]

So many people were concerned about recent happenings, I'd like to help them get at least some relief. And I know how.

Would you like to attend a religious ceremony with me?

Comments

[brought_it_back]

I want to know why you didn't tell me.

[jianai]

What would it change, other than hurting you - right after you woke up from your own wounds, in fact?

[brought_it_back]

But even after that, you didn't tell me...I had to go through the reports to find out.

...why?

[jianai]

It was...

[Ren sighs.]

It was a selfish act. I didn't want to get hurt even more. By having others know what happened, I'd be forced to relive it again and again. You could say that for a while I wanted to... run away. Pretend that nothing happened, that everything is alright, even if it obviously wasn't.

[brought_it_back]

...That's...understandable. I think everyone has things they would rather forget.

[A sigh, and Eva looks off into the distance with Ren.]

My feelings are...complicated. I should have stopped it.

[jianai]

That is the thing with feelings. They are more complicated than we'd like to, a lot of times.

Stop what, exactly?

[brought_it_back]

You know what. Even if I was injured, it was a long time coming.

[Eva takes a stiff half-step forward, then steps back.]

I'm sorry.

[jianai]

[Ren's eyebrows are raised in surprise.]

Why? What are you sorry for?

[brought_it_back]

Isn't it obvious! Someone came here specifically to hurt us, and I didn't stop him! I wasn't even there to kill him for you!

[jianai]

But Eva...

I didn't want him to die.

1/2

[brought_it_back]

No...No, of course you didn't.

Why would you? He was kind, once, and you could find a way to be optimistic in the face of the apocalypse.

Not all of us can do that. Not everyone has that saintly ability let the good drown out the muck and the filth in their world. Lied to, betrayed, abused, abandoned, we have every ounce of love pulled from us piece by piece.

2/2

[brought_it_back]

But you know what? That's fine. That's fine. If we can't be happy with the world, maybe we can put our suspicious nature to use. We can try to protect others so they don't suffer through that. At least then someone's happy, somewhere.


So when we-when I make a mistake? When I don't ask the right questions, or I assume someone's harmless, I don't see things coming, and someone's brains get splattered everywhere? Do you get what that feels like? Can you grasp that pain? To have one thing, just one thing in the whole world that you are good at, and to fail utterly?

Do you get it now?! Why I'd want to kill that man for what he did?! DO YOU GET WHY I'M SORRY!?

[jianai]

No, not everyone has this ability. I do not expect them to.

[Ren listened to Eva patiently, with an unnervingly unchanging expresion. Only once she is done, does their eyebrows raise.]

Yes, Eva. I understand why you feel this way.

You wanted to use your own skills to protect others who are close to you. To protect me - and you feel like you have failed.

Eva.

You are a better person than you think you are.

Let's just pretend there's art of eva's PB yelling, anywhere

[brought_it_back]

I...that's...

[For a moment, Eva's expression isn't angry. The earlier frustration and turmoil sort of melts away...]


Why do you always have to be so god-damn forgiving!
[It comes back, and she marches off.]

[jianai]

I really meant it, though...

[Ren watches passively as Eva storms away. They're left behind, all alone.]

Why, a good question indeed.