Always darkest before pitch black

[empress_without_a_throne]

[1]

[When she awakes, Mizuki finds herself no longer in the DuskBird and the battle is long since ended.  The second battle with SolEraser, and her desperate, last attempt at taking the machine down... it's still fresh in her mind.  But she's in the infirmary, bandaged and with whatever deep see-based medicines the Unity Group had on-hand in case they were needed.  She felt... weary.]

What happened out there?

[And it's then that the medical staff gets to break the news to her.  About just what happened to SolSavior and the power it had unleashed.]



-But if I'd done that much to SolSavior itself, then...

Oh God!

[2]



[And some time later, Mizuki is just, lying in a sobbing heap nearby Ken and Dido's beds.  It was the SolBalmung incident all over again... there was just a hard limit to how much Void energy a human being can be exposed to and Ken and Dido had skirted dangerously close to it.  She had done this.  She had brought forth all the power of the Abyss Empress to bring down on the Eraser team, but it was her own friends and comrades that'd paid the price for it.  SolSavior itself lay wrecked even more than before, and this too was her doing.  And even if her body was in better shape now, her mind...]

Stop it...

[It's barely above a whisper.]

Stop congratulating me... all of you!  I'm not Marianas!  I'm not here to cause suffering!  I didn't want... I never wanted any of this!

Comments

[empress_without_a_throne]

But he put his faith in me. You can say what you want but there's no way he would've expected or counted on his team leader being a walking time bomb of Void energy just waiting to put him in intensive care.

[tiger_ken]

...You think someone as paranoid as him wouldn't have thought of the possibility? That perhaps you would embrace your heritage, or follow in the path of your once friend?



If my son had faith in you - actual, honest faith - then so long as you did not deliberately betray him, he'll find a means to forgive you. Its a certain kind of earnest trust that he inherited from his father. And in Tora's case, that was even after I had put him in intensive care quite deliberately.

[jianai]

It doesn't matter if it was "right" or not. All that matters is that you were trying to help others - and you did.

[actuallyselfish]

"That's not true!" Dido raises her hand. "It was that SolEraser team that nearly killed us! They had us dead to rights, and an entire city full of people too if we failed! If you hadn't pulled out the stops like that, Ken and I would have died for sure!"

[actuallyselfish]

She stares at her hands. "I wasn't trying to joke, Mizuki. It's just...every time we go out there, there's always a chance we won't come back. Always. And I've made my peace with that."

[sang_av_helten]

[He actually didn't complain like he usually would when he feels he is suffering an indignity.]

I wanted to be sure that you are alright. I owe it to your companions as well as being your comrade to ensure as such.

[Skald lowers his head a little, ears flicking slightly.]

It has been a very trying day for us all...

[63rd_shockwave]

[Sarah leans over, and...flicks Mizuki in the forehead.]

Really, stop being so hard on yourself.

2

[keep_your_dignity]

HEARING VOICES NOW, TOO, ONODERA?

[a_louse]

It's too late to change that, isn't it? You can't really build another machine to take DuskBird's place in the combination.

Besides, what guarantee you have that without Void energy, SolSaviour would have the power that it possesses now? There are just too many hypothetical scenarios to consider. And none of them really affect the reality of things as they are now.

[empress_without_a_throne]

Or something close enough to it.

Call it a guilty conscience. I was originally made to accomplish something like this.

[empress_without_a_throne]

What about your...

["Enemies" felt like the wrong word here. So even though it also wasn't fitting...]

-friends? Are they okay?

[empress_without_a_throne]

[She winced at that. This was the first time the issue of Sara'd been brought up in the presence of a previous pilot. And Ryuko would've known Sara too... at least, when she was very young. Only a few years old in fact.]

... It's not just forgiveness I'm worried about though. It's whether or not this'll happen again.

[empress_without_a_throne]

They'd... obviously have to look into that sort of thing of course.

[Although considering Solaris's history with making add-ons and the like for their machines...]

I just don't want to have to repeat that, make the same kind of sacrifice and gamble with Ken and Dido's lives to protect people.

[empress_without_a_throne]

[She winces, moving back a step.]

And at what point am I allowed to be harsh? When I get somebody killed?

[empress_without_a_throne]

Dido, I...

[She's half inclined to give the woman a hug or hold her hand or something. But she stops herself in fear that such close contact might be too soon for her.]

... I wish I could say the same. You just, got conscripted to be a warm body piloting the Lancer, at least at the start. And Ken wound up having nowhere to go.

Neither of you were here by choice... just victims of circumstance. And I didn't want, and don't want you to die because of those circumstances.

[63rd_shockwave]

Your friends got hurt when they decided to get in front of a fuck-off laser beam to protect some civilians. Somehow, I don't think they're going to care very much on whose fault it was, exactly.

And yeah, feel free to be upset when you murder someone. We can gripe over shared sins, then.

[actuallyselfish]

"Mizuki..."

Dido hesitates, then reaches out to take Mizuki's hand and squeeze it.

Then she lets go and flicks Mizuki gently across the forehead. "Listen to yourself! Victims of circumstance? Is that all you think we are?"

[sang_av_helten]

They had escaped without harm... though I do not think they will ever fight again. Without Socrates to lead them they will hide and eventually go their own ways to do what they can to survive.

...My teacher himself...

[Skald lapses into silence and goes limp and looking absolutely miserable.]

I do not know if he...

[keep_your_dignity]

PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T MAKE YOU WITH THE IDEA OF USING YOUR POWERS TO SAVE CITIES, ONODERA. THAT, OR MY INTEL ON YOU PEOPLE IS EVEN SHITTIER THAN I THOUGHT.

[tiger_ken]

And the possibility that the two of them won't be so lucky?

[Ryuko taps Mizuki's shoulder. Crazy thing, despite the absolute wealth of ki the woman must have... it wouldn't affect Mizuki at all.]

Those who say they believe in no such thing are fools. However, it is best to leave as little to luck as possible. Control what aspects of the battlefield you can, and make those you cannot, still susceptible to your prompting. You have faced this opponent twice now. Twice should be enough to know your enemy in some fashion. So what do you know, of this mockery of SolSavior?

2

[majestic_keiki]

[At least you're not alone, Mizuki. Kei is there to support you.]

I don't know who Marianas is, but we all know you're not trying to hurt people.

[a_louse]

Then do everything you can to make sure it won't happen again. It's easy to say and hard to do... But you have a whole bunch of people supporting you, not to mention your own strength. I'm sure you can find a way.

I don't want to see Ken and Dido gone, either. I quite like them.

[empress_without_a_throne]

"Marianas"... is... was my intended name.

The "Abyss" in "Abyss Empire" wasn't just meant to refer to darkness, but also the depths. Deep underwater, Marianas Trench, go figure. A lot of the Void's creations had names like that. Like how the Eclipse Sentries were themed around the constellations, and their leader was called "Ptolomeioh". Like the astronomer, but also playing off the word meaning "Dark Lord".

And in spite of my best efforts I still wound up doing devestating a Sol machine and sending two pilots into intensive care...

[empress_without_a_throne]

That... even in a head-to-head fight, SolSavior can't surpass it. Not as it is. Not safely.

My tactic... even trying to focus down its feet didn't work.

[empress_without_a_throne]

[Petting resumes, the comfort Skald.]

... I'm sorry. Even if you disagreed on methods...

... If he really just saw the Avians as the real threat than you must've had more in common than some might think.