Frustration

[abugslife]

[After the return from the attack on Shadow Mirrors, Scaraber is severely damaged - a result of the fight with Teremun. It's located in Sakihama's hangar for the time being, the one closest to the operation area. Hetepheres watches as several of her beetle-like technicians ascertain the damage, one of them holding his (her?) head and shaking it.]

We have recovered Lamia Loveless, and the enemy base was destroyed, as planned. The mission, technically, went better than expected...

[Despite her words, something is not right. Hetepheres, who usually keeps her face stone cold, is seething with barely constrained anger right now.]

High Commander Teremun... You really should have killed me. You will regret your decision.

Comments

[jianai]

Hetepheres.

Do you really think that?

[abugslife]

Of course not. Do not be ridiculous. Do you think I want to be dead? Leaving me alive was Teremun's mistake. If I were in his place, I would not have second thoughts.

[jianai]

I have nothing but support for acts of mercy, though I suppose his was only because of who he was fighting against...

Hetepheres, I'm sure it has been obvious to you for a long time, but you deserve to be with a better person than High Commander Teremun.

[abugslife]

That is not a very high standard.

No. This is not something I am going to do again. Juvenile, naive infatuation caused me to make one of the biggest mistakes in my life. Today, I am older and wiser, and certain that I will not repeat that mistake. Ever.

[jianai]

Isn't this stance just as juvenile, though?

[abugslife]

Love is just hormones driving us towards propagating the species. Millions of people live without it and do not feel like their lives are missing anything.

[jianai]

I disagree. I'm walking proof of that being incorrect.

Though you are right, Hetepheres, in saying that a lot of people live without experiencing physical, sensous type of love and yet they are not any less happy because of it. But there are different kinds of love, and that is just one of them.

[abugslife]

Oh yes, I know that feeling well. After all, I had a daughter I loved more than anything else in the world, even though we were estranged for most of her life.

I am sure you remember how that ended.

[jianai]

It is not love that has caused this. You have been hurt Hetepheres, not by fate but by hand of fellow human.

But I want you to know, love is not a weakness. Falling in love such a long time ago was not a mistake. Even if the other person abused your trust, it was his fault alone.

Not yours.

[abugslife]

On the surface, Teremun projects the image of a dashing, cultured and honorable officer. I should have seen underneath this thin layer and realized his true nature earlier. But I did not, not until after we were already married; my own emotions made me blind.

This will not happen again.

[jianai]

Let me stress this out again - it was his fault for projecting that image, and that you believed in it. Not yours.

[abugslife]

I do not care who is to blame. There is nobody left in this world I love anymore - the last person I did, I killed with my own hands. I am incapable of loving anyone anymore.

And it does not matter. I have more important things to worry about, such as how the support for AEP on Geb will grow after they spin the results of today's battle as a grand victory for their cause.

[jianai]

I do not think that's true. You wouldn't do half the things you did if you didn't love humankind - both the humanity of Earth, and Geb.

But it's true, we have important things to worry about now. It was not my intention to seek a confrontation, Hetepheres. Please excuse me.

[abugslife]

Once again, you take me for more of an altruist than I am. What I feel towards humanity is not love.

[jianai]

What is it, then?

[abugslife]

This question is not easy to answer. Fascination, perhaps?

[empress_without_a_throne]

So twice now, while fighting the Shadow Mirrors there's been an enemy who hesitated when they shouldn't have.

... Maybe the Shadow Mirrors are an unintentional good luck charm.

[abugslife]

A little blessing it is. Teremun did not leave me alive because of goodness in his heart. He did it because he thinks I still could return to him. Ridiculous.

[empress_without_a_throne]

Good to know he's capable of mistakes though.

Though I have to wonder... what kinds of things led to you two being together in the first place? You don't have to answer if it's too... private.

[abugslife]

Everyone makes mistakes.

Teremun... has flaws that are not visible if something does not trigger them. His egocentrism, arrogant condescension, his collection of bigotries - they do not show at a first glance, in normal circumstances. Back then, I was fooled by his outward shell - a brilliant young officer, honorable and talented, the rising star of our military. And the interest was mutual.

I was young and foolish. I should have seen through this facade, but was too infatuated to do so until much later.

[keep_your_dignity]

THINK YOU'RE GOING TO WANT SOME BACKUP WHEN YOU INTRODUCE THAT CUNT TO THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS MISTAKES, GENERAL? I DO SO ENJOY TEARING MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLES TO SHREDS

[Kagura appears nearby, carrying a pile of papers]

[abugslife]

If killing Teremun will cause the AEP to fall apart and our conflict with them to end - and it will - I will take as much backup as I can to accomplish it. A whole army, if necessary.

...And it might be necessary. I hate to admit it, but his victory today was crushing.

[keep_your_dignity]

COUNT ME IN, THEN.

THAT SAID, IF THE EXISTENCE OF THIS PARTY IS SO DEPENDENT ON HIM, HAVE YOU GIVEN SOME THOUGHT TO ASSASSINATION? NO MATTER HOW GOOD A PILOT IS AND HOW POWERFUL HIS MACHINE IS, A SNIPER ROUND BETWEEN THE EYE SOCKETS IS RATHER EGALITARIAN. OR WOULD THAT JUST MARTYR HIM?

I KNOW HOW HUMANS WORK - THEY'RE PRETTY SIMPLE. BUT I DON'T HAVE A FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR YOUR SPECIES.

[abugslife]

Teremun, just like me and most Gebian champions, is heavily augmented. Last time someone tried to assassinate an augmented warrior, he survived multiple shots and then killed the assassin with his own weapon.

The chance of success is too low, the risk of discovery is too high.

[gold_four]

...I wonder, does that sort of thing get reported back on your homeworld?

[Ataru muses, looking up at the damaged machine as he steps in alongside Hetepheres.]

I mean, after so many of his own allies are cut down, he still allows his 'former love' to live. Kinda thing that could play for a lot of sentiment.

[abugslife]

Who would he report to? Teremun is the high commander of the AEP. There is nobody above him. As long as he does not break the laws of our society and warfare, he can do whatever he wants. Mercy is not against the law.

[gold_four]

By the news. You know, to mass media and the people? Rally up support for that election?

[abugslife]

Oh, I am sure the AEP are already doing that. For a long time they will go on about how their commander defeated the PEP one in an effortless victory, but is honorable and compassionate enough to spare her life. And many people will actually buy it.

It is up to the PEP spokesmen to turn this situation around, and in the worst case, run damage control. But my failure made their life much more difficult.

[gold_four]

...Do they accept audio files from alien units? Like, I get they might claim it was faked, but...

[abugslife]

I have already sent the footage from the battle back home. I leave it to specialists to decide what they are going to do with it.

Public relations are not my purpose. Fighting the AEP is. Although I knew that it is only a matter of time until Teremun participates in the battle himself... And it happened now.

[gold_four]

[Ataru mutters some slight exasperation under his breath, before speaking more aloud again.]

Seems a bit... old school though, for a political candidate to also be a major warrior. Haven't had leaders like those on Earth for several centuries now.

[abugslife]

Is it really that old school, though? Meganoids, Wulgaru, Cybertronians, Shadow Mirrors, La Gias - those are just few other races and factions that expect their leaders to also be powerful fighters.

Not every political figure on Geb is a warrior. However, this trend becomes more common in time, due to two factors.

[gold_four]

Trust me, you wouldn't find one of the Presidents on Earth hopping into a mecha anytime soon.

What factors though?

[abugslife]

Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on excellence in everything you pursue. Combine this with common genetic and cybernetic augmentation, and physical disciplines become very popular.

Also, being a trained warrior makes you harder to assassinate. Geb had less than peaceful periods in its history, even in comparison to today.

[gold_four]

...Common genetic augmentation, eh...?

[That gives Ataru a moment of pause.]

[abugslife]

Drawing parallels with your own situation, are you.

It is different on Geb. Augmentations are given to you after you are born, and nobody receives them against their own will, unless it is necessary to save their life and they are incapable of giving consent. Those medical augmentations, to correct health defects, are the most common ones; something like what I received would be definitely above the budget of an ordinary citizen.