There She Is...

[ships_full_of_missiles]

 

1. [General Mingle/Discussion]
[A broadcast on the Macross! One that every TV carrying the newly wired station will receive, and be playing, every hour for the next few days.]

Welcome! To celebrate the launch of MBS, the Macross Broadcasting System, we present to you: The MIss Macross Contest! 28 beautiful contestants will take the stage, having been selected from over 400 applicants. Who will win the final and the crown? The Miss Macross Contest! Our Queen will be chosen by you!

[Disgusted? Thrilled? Whatever happens, it'll be the talk of the town for the next few days!]


2.[The Qualifiers]
[Before you can get on to the stage, you must pass through the meat grinder: The qualifiers round, where a panel of judges will evaluate how embarassing you might be. They will be thinning the herd by over 90%, removing every woman who doesn't stand a chance on stage. The small, boring audition room they've set up in is a place where dreams go to die. Three old men sit at a small folding table on one end.]

So, can you tell us about yourself, Miss...


 

3.[The actual contest: mingle/contestants with acts]

[After all that hard work, it's finally here! The Miss Macross Contest! Are you watching? Participating? Either way, it's going to be a tough competiton-there's even a movie star on the field! But there's a great grand prize: A brand new recreational sports jet!]


4.[For People Who Can't/Won't Get Off Work; One thread]
[Meanwhile, on the Macross's Bridge, there's an unofficial on-duty watch party...because someone's got to mind the place while Gloval gets paid to look at young women for hours on end.]



I gotta say, the captain looks pretty dignified.



He's got a dirty look in his eyes.

 

Comments

[mistaken_for_monster]

Thhbtttthtt?

[Interitus tilts its head in confusion... then it stretches a vine out to where Volya was, the russian kid poking his head in for a moment, looking somewhat disgruntled.]

Interitus doesn't get the reasoning behind the question, whatever it is.

[Volya rolls his eyes, about to go back outside of the room before his partner tugged at him meaningfully.]

...Gah... fine, I'll stay and translate... but this isn't going to even last five minutes.

[ships_full_of_missiles]

[The judge holds up a hand.]

It's okay son, I've talked to enough women in my life to understand her. You can leave, if you want.

[The judge leans forward over the table, folding his hands in front of his mouth as he does so.]

Now, Miss, you are correct in that the 'Air Bud' clause allows you to participate, but this is a beauty pageant, where contestants are based on how well they can adhere to an idealized femininity.

Do you understand where I am going with this?

[mistaken_for_monster]

[Interitus tilted its head, a little confused, it heard him say things but it didn't quite get them.]

Thhbtttht?

What he pretty much meant was that you're kind of too ugly for this. Sorry buddy.

[The 'vine puppet' turned to 'look' at Volya, then the judges almost imploringly as if to ask if the Russian kid was wrong because darn it that was mean.]

H... hey don't make me the bad guy here! He said it not me!

[ships_full_of_missiles]

Now, son, I didn't say she was ugly, you did. [The judge adjusts his glasses.]

Ma'am, you're a very pretty woman. None of our other contestants can bloom quite like you, for instance.

Rather, it is that...Contestants are judged based on how well they can adhere to an idealized human form. That form represents a standard of beauty for humans; but it's not the only standard out there. There are other ways to be beautiful that humans cannot achieve, and yours is one of them.

But, to run this contest, we need to adhere to a more strict metric than the abstract notion of 'beauty'. As such, we have to have specific criteria for contestants to meet, and the way those criteria were formulated, you score quite low. That doesn't mean you're not pretty, it just means you're pretty in a special, unique way that this particular contest is not a good platform for.

[mistaken_for_monster]

[Volya opened his mouth to argue the fact, just silently and inarticulately trying to say something but was to irritated to do so. The vine puppet slouches heavily, looking almost comically depressed.]

Tbbttthhhht....

[And demoralized, Interitus was working hard on its act when it found out about the contest. The vine mass looked up at the judge like a kicked puppy.]

Tbbtthhht...?

[ships_full_of_missiles]

Ma'am, I'm not a botanist. If you hadn't just told me, I would have never known you were a hermaphrodite.

[There is a beat, while the judge adjusts his glasses.]

Even then, it's not grounds for disqualification. We run a very inclusive program here; as long as you identify as female, that is good enough to participate. It's in the application guidelines, section 5.6.3.

[Still, the judge can't help but look a bit depressed at all this.]

Look...I know it's sad, losing like this, but this just isn't your stage.

[He comes out from behind the table, and puts a hand on Inertius's shoulder. Thank heavens the vine puppet is person-sized, and devoid of thorns.]

Don't worry. There's still plenty of chances for you to shine in your own way. And I'm certain that you'll find the man who's right for you, if you just keep looking.

[mistaken_for_monster]

[And Volya's just gobsmacked here. Interitus 'looks' at the Judge, nodding slowly.]



Thbttthhht..

[The plant monster bows its head and leaves the room, Volya following while just shaking his head at the ridiculousness of this all.]