Shattered reflections

[ugyuuya]

[1]

[In one of the smaller lesser used workout rooms Yuuya is busy working over a heavy bag with a particular fervor.]

I try to point out the flaws in her logic to help her and she turns it back to an attack on me. Just like Yui, her little flunky Ken, and half the goddamned Japanese personnel here. Support crew talking like they think I can't understand while Yui's got me on her damned leash and not saying word one to them about it.

[He proceeds to move from the bag to free-weights.]

So what if I don't match their little happy world views and want to keep grounded in a realistic frame of mind. That's a "poisonous" attitude? I guess that's what my grandfather meant about being underhanded and untrustworthy with their attacks. So what if Volya was "saved" from his attackers and given a healthy place to finish growing up in. In the end he's going to have to stand up and fix things himself like every kid who's stuck in a poor situation. Not like he has to worry about a loveless family being the only thing outside of military service that he'd have to return to and at least he seems to remember more than one member of his family fondly. People are willing to support and help him not worry about a superior who makes inordinate demands and then quotes pretty little "proverbs" instead of actually useful advice.

[Yuuya pauses momentarily as he sets his weights down on a bench his breath ragged due to the length and intensity of his workout. He looks up into the mirror and glares as he tried ]

And worst of all is this damned appearance. I've shed tears and blood for the American forces, pushed myself to live up to their standards and expectations but to everyone else I'm Japanese. The Russians with their damned interrogators, Yui and her opinion of how disgraceful I am, Ken and his stupid "Japanese Pride" and Mizuki with her stupid maybe the Japanese person most in need of getting chewed out by you is the one waiting for you in the mirror

"I'm American god damn it! Stop holding me to the stupid standards of a country and father that I never knew you bastards!"

[With the last audible outburst Yuuya threw the weight into the mirrored wall, turned to deliver a kick to the sand bag that manages to add just enough momentum to it's swinging that knocks the stand off balance and tumbling into another rack of free weights. Turning on his heel he begins to leave, a look of frustration and anger on his face that is tinged by something else underneath.]

[2]



[Entering the workout room you see broken glass and spilled equipment. One of the Maintenance staff for the TSF teams is just beginning to clean up and you can hear him speak with a resigned sigh.]

"Damn it Yuuya, I thought you were past this type of shit. Guess someone managed to finally get to him again, haven't seen him do this since Leon started shit after his mother's death. I wish he'd at least have the decency to do these rages where it wasn't so heavy to fix things."

[3 -Locked to Mizuki]



[Mizuki is disturbed in her office by Vincent entering and closing the door behind him.]

So for someone so concerned about Volya and being a great savior you managed to turn someone who was trying to offer some reasonable advice in a rather sanctimonious way into quite the little ball of anger and self-loathing.

I know what he said wasn't the best phrased and playing devil's advocate with a human life is in poor form but really how many of his concerns were at least valid on some level. So I'm not going to be upset about you dismantling his arguments and calling him on his hypocrisy.

What I am upset about is that after our discussion where I came to you on behalf of Ken and the efforts of myself and Lt. Takamura to keep an official reprimand from falling on his record and you took that warning that his heritage is a sore point and purposely attacked it. Yes he's been an asshole and yes his fight with Ken was stupid but taking that kind of attack when you knew how it would hit him was unnecessarily cruel.

I had at some point hoped that you're history and being accepted into the Japanese culture could help him which is why I sought you out after the fight to talk. Now I'm just disappointed and more than anything would like to know why you'd have done that to him.

Comments

3

[empress_without_a_throne]

[She listens, feeling an uncomfortable sensation creep up her back and neck. And when Vincent's said his piee...

[She just closes her eyes and sighs.]

I say one thing about his mixed heritage and he goes nuclear...

He's so eager to dissect and warp everything and everyone into the worst interpretations possible. That attitude of his is not going to do anyone here any good, Vincent, and it could very easily get in the way of people doing their jobs. And yeah, I know Yuuya getting all self-destructive isn't any bette... but he really does need to start to take a good long look at himself.

If anyone else here were to be acting the way he was, he'd be screaming bloody murder.

[ugyuuya]

Yes because that heritage has been the single sorest point and the origin of most of his other issues. I warned you of it to try to impress that as a sore button. It's caused him to be an outcast to his own family and 17 years of almost constant isolation and belittlement. Slamming that button as a personal attack to intentionally piss him off was not a good idea, nor was the word poisonous.

He's been told his whole life that Japanese are only good to drag down those around them and attack in underhanded ways. His mother died at 40 from an illness when he hadn't seen her in over 2 years since leaving home and the captain of his squad died in an accident that he indirectly caused. He left Groom Lake in an attempt to "protect" the other two members of his flight from himself and the last words Leon said to him were that he was a filthy coward.

I know you didn't know that and his attitude towards things is negative even if he is worrying about others but that's just how he's seen and still sees himself in some ways. What he needs now is people showing him the good in himself and encouraging him to look at things in a more positive light. His worry is good and at the core he's a good guy even if it's buried under everything else.

As for the last, if he was I'd be up his ass but as he's on the warpath again after talking to you I'm here now. I know you probably didn't think he'd go this far off the handle but as I said before, he hates himself for being what he is and takes everything personally which drives him further into a corner he's backed himself into. I'll apologize again for the interruption and thank you for listening to reply, do you have anything else to say or shall we consider the issue at hand tabled for the moment?

[empress_without_a_throne]

And I thought Ken had problems...

[Seriously, how is Yuuya cleared for being a test pilot with all this emotional baggage of his? Mizuki sighs again, mulling things over for a moment before shrugging.]

If... he contacts me again or we cross paths or something like that I'll try to do what I can. But I won't promise anything. Even if I say all the right things and do all the right things if he just throws it all in my face, that's not my fault. Yuuya needs to understand his attitude just encourages conflict with others and it's going to drive away people who very well might want to help him.

But...

In the wake of what I said and what it might cause, I will try to do what I can for him.

[ugyuuya]

Thank you. And as for your comparison to Ken, most of Yuuya's are recent issues. If he didn't have his record marred by the inquiry and the noted behavioral issues after his mother's death then he'd probably still be in the US test teams working on the same unit he had started on before the accident.

This is the US playing politics with him as a tool but I think that in the end it's going to blow up in their face when Yuuya finally get's fully back on track here.