Not a good-bye, but a till we meet again

[stupidhonor]

[1]
I believe this to be all. Well...

[In the days after the Lady's defeat, Project Unification is slowly being dissolved. Sielje may not be a member, but now she is leaving. AHer belongings are already gathered and packed up, a small load for the Arm. All that is left is to await a portal opening...]

The Earth is safe, I have fulfilled my vow. It is time. Time for me to return... home.

I am honored. Where would I be without you - my allies, my dearest friends? Know this, this is not our last farewell. I have my duty as the envoy to Earth, and even though for now I depart to Ankaia, I will be back. Back when the duty calls me. And even when it does not...

I will make sure to keep our bonds alive. That is a promise.

[The knight's eyes are wet as she speaks the words, but this time, finally, her back is straight with pride, her expression happy.]

[2 - for Gwen]
[But before she can depart for real, there is an important person to speak to.]


Gwen? The Lady is of the past now, I had time to think without worries. And I made my choice.

Back then, when I spoke to Jen... when I spoke to you, we decided that we should try - to date. But, but it is not going to work. I did not give you attention it requires. All that time, we did not even...

[Sielje coughs, getting red on her face. It's not the time to get distracted.]

No, that is not important. You and I, our lives are too different. We are too different. I am sorry saying that. It must hurt to hear, I know it hurts me to say it. But...

But you deserve the truth, and this is how I truly feel. We are close friends, but you would not be happy at my side.

...


Please do not be angry. There are so many things in this world worth living for. I am sure you know that far better than I do.

Comments

[stupidhonor]

I know. I know that well!

But, that has nothing to do with it. Look at what we have done... what I have not done. All the ways to show someone else, how close she really is for you - and I did none of them! It is not because I feel like I do not deserve it... and come future, if this continues the same will happen. A relationship in name only!

Are you really fine with this?

[an_emulated_mind]

...I know, I know, I just...

[Gwen sighs, facing Sielje again.]

All the other times I've dated someone, it's been this whirlwind of passion-a few intense days of intimacy whenever we meet, and then weeks or months apart...until it crumbles.

And you're not...you're not someone who would do that. With you, I thought...I thought I could taste a quiet life. I thought, if you appreciated me the same way as Jen...that would mean I hadn't changed too much, that I didn't become some monster.

...You're right, though. About us not doing...couple things. And it does frustrate me. So if that's your decision...that's it, then.

[stupidhonor]

No, you are not a monster!

But... you are not Jen, you are your own person. A different person, one who is very alike - but still different, one who I do not know very well.

If, in time, if I get to know you better, if we spend more time together... perhaps my answer will be different. Perhaps, then I will do various things, instead of being embarassed that I did not. And you will not be frustrated that I did not.

[Sielje looks down.]

But for now, this is my answer.

[an_emulated_mind]

[small]...I'd wish you'd stop saying things like that.[/small]

[For once, Gwen looks Sielje dead in the eyes.]


Not the things...about us. That hurts, but...it's not like I can make you love me.

But when you say that I'm my own person, or that you don't know me well...that means that all my memories, my habits, my affectations-they don't count for anything. That I'm just some...doll, that started moving around-no family, no friends, no history...


-I'm sorry, I shouldn't be putting this on you. Just...I'm not a stranger, okay? Please don't call me one...

[stupidhonor]

Oh.

...

My apologies. When I say - "you are your own person", I did not mean it like that. It is just... I did not wish to disrespect you, by thinking of you as a continuation, a copy of Jen. You are much more than that.

And you are not a stranger. I would never, ever treat you as one.

[an_emulated_mind]

...Thank you. I'll hold you to that, I think.

[For once, Gwen seems a little bit less sad, a half-hearted smile on her face. She steps closer, giving Sielje a tenative, gentle hug-but not for long.]

You stay well, okay? I'll be sure to visit...not for a while, but I will.

[stupidhonor]

[Sielje nods and, after a moment of hesitation, returns the hug. It doesn't last long, but that kind of thing is already more than the usually reserved knight allows herself.]

You will always be welcome. No matter how much time passes...

Well.

[But now she shuffles awkwardly. Time to leave.]

I do hope to see you soon, then...