You Got Mail

[cloningblues]

"Here Asagi, your mail! Sorry about the delay - all packages have to get through routine scan, and you received a lot of them. You're really lucky!"

[With these words, a certain tiny eyeless monster puts a huge file of mail on the blue Rabbit's table. Most of it is chocolate - Valentine's chocolate, by the looks of it. There are also notes and letters, many of them embarassing. Looks like someone has fangirls.]

Errr....

Comments

[caressthedarkness]

[And here is a currently one-eyed monster (the other is hidden behind bandages) gazing at the pile.]

I have never seen so much mail addressed to a single person...

[She picks one up. One that contains chocolate, of course.]

[cloningblues]

You want some of it, Seta? Go for it. There's no way I'm going to eat so many sweets.

...Just don't read the letters.

[caressthedarkness]

[A bit too late, because she's doing both. It's not that she's doing it on purpose, though; she's just happily munching on chocolate, and didn't hear the latter half of what Asagi said.]

...And this one says...

"To my love Asagi...these are gifts from the depths of my lonely heart.

"I want you today, tomorrow, next week...and for the rest of my life."

[cloningblues]

D, don't read it! Especially not aloud!

...I don't even know the girl who wrote that!

[caressthedarkness]

Mm...

[She slows down a bit as she puts the letter back on the desk.]

But...now that this is mentioned...it is a little sad...

[cloningblues]

Sad? Why?

[caressthedarkness]

This letter mentioned a 'lonely heart'.

...The ones who sent these must have put a lot of effort into this just for you, Asagi.

[herodrawing]

[Takes one look at the pile.

This face.]

[cloningblues]

Don't give me that face. I didn't ask for this!

[herodrawing]

But Asagi, it means people all over the world appreciate what you're doing!

Even despite that video.

[cloningblues]

Or maybe because of the video.

[Asagi raises one of the letters. It has a drawing of Blue One in a very clumsy moe pose.]

[herodrawing]

Well...

At least that means something good came out of it, then!

[cloningblues]

It's not good! What am I supposed to do with all this stuff? I can't eat all the chocolate, and the letters...

...They don't expect White Day chocolate in response, can they?

[sang_av_helten]

[Well Asagi you also have a cat trying to push a number of them out.]

We will not have this poison present in this place! If you wish to kill Asagi of Toshikazu then fight him in combat!

[cloningblues]

Don't throw them on the ground. I'm not a cat, chocolate isn't poisonous for humans! Why do you think we make it?

[sang_av_helten]

...The fact that humans may live dangerously? I simply thought it was a way of proving ones selves for prospective mates in showing one's durability to poison.

[cloningblues]

Humans are not suicidal like that. Though your idea would mean Kei is the most scaringly tough person on Earth, and I like the mental image.

No, this is Valentine's chocolate. Do you know what that is?

[sang_av_helten]

Kei of Kugimiya is indeed a strong human worthy of respect regardless of my... misconceptions.

[Cat cough.]

No. As a matter of fact Asagi of Toshikazu I do not.

[cloningblues]

It's a Japanese tradition. On Valentine's Day, girls give chocolate to boys they like. Well, not just boys, sometimes. One month later, on White Day, the recipient gives a gift in return, as thanks.

[booty_chaser]

Ooooohhh, look at that! Someone's populaaar!

[Okay, one, how is Ashe in the room, two, why is she hanging upside down from the ceiling lamp, and three, she has the most mischievous, impish grin to ever exist. Ashe apparently finds this really amusing]

[cloningblues]

Why are you on my lamp? And I didn't ask for this. I didn't even know I have fans at all!

[Except some of the Kijin kids, but details.]

[booty_chaser]

'cause I was reading them over your shoulder. Sorry! [She doesn't look very sorry, though. She flips herself to the ground, grinning.]

Sooooo, if you don't want them, you wouldn't mind me taking the lot, right? [She extends a hand towards the piles of letters and chocolate]

[cloningblues]

You can take the chocolate, but stay away from the letters... And don't read them over my shoulder! Last thing I need is my friends reading what some of those people wrote. I don't even know who any of them are!

[booty_chaser]

Awwww, but they're so nice. You guys have a lot of fans. I have to work hard if I want to be more famous than you are!

Look, this one attached a photo making a kissy face! [She lifts a photo of a girl about a year older than Asagi making some pretty clear advances at the camera] Don't you think she's pretty cute?

[cloningblues]

Err... No! Stop reading the letters! This is worse than when Izuru invited half of Unity Group to watch Randy's movie!
[Asagi tries to grab and keep away from Ashe as many letters as he can, the photo included.]

I don't want to be a celebrity, it makes your private life difficult. I don't need fans! Half of them know me only because of that embarassing online video anyway.