The cruelty that lay under feathers

[srwu_npc]

[A transmission hijack has snapped onto the airwaves, static simply snowing over the images on televisions and streamed broadcasts at first before completely scrambling and being replaced with a cavernous and sinisterly lit room. A dark and sinister chuckle rumbles out into the air as the image comes into focus, revealing the figures that awaited within. Cassowaries. Cassowaries in sinister, twisted armor. Some controlling them with their taloned legs or feathered wings, others seemingly fused with the machines given the metal that is biting into their necks. These specimens' eyes seem alight with an unnatural cruelty, far beyond their feral relatives.]

I can hear you, children of humanity. I can hear your questions. 'What are birds doing interrupting my paltry and tasteless entertainment'. 'What kind of unrealistic trash are they foisting on us now?'.

[A sinister chuckle arises from the one in the largest armor, the one with a metal crown enveloped in a sickly film of red.]

I assure you, that I am very real. That my bretheren and our servants are very real. That we are coming to swoop down upon your hapless civilization to break open the protective shells you have built around yourselves in the form of your protectors and tear open and feast upon the tender, weak flesh that lays beneath with our beaks and talons.

The time of your rule is over humanity! Your wonders, your triumphs, your hopes shall be nothing but ashes in the dirt to be sifted through by the filth and vermin and worms. The colonies you built to live in the depths of space will be broken open as the airless void consumes those who lie within! Your monuments and memorials shall be reduced to rubble as nurseries for those that will consume your future! We who have transcended from the pathetic weakness of our cousins the Dinosaur Empire to embrace true power!

WE! ARE THE AVIAN EMPIRE!

Bow before us, and perhaps....just perhaps we may deem you fit to crawl on the dirt before us. Resist and you shall bleed and die with your bodies broken before us.

[React/mingle post to the above.]

Comments

[itbelongsinamuseum]

So what if watching big men in tight pants run into each other to move a ball is tasteless? It's still fun!

...Also, do any of you who have been here longer know if this is the most insane threat so far?

[not_a_prize]

Its not bad... Still like wrestling more.

[At the question Peola actually ponders.]

... I have absolutely no idea. I mean the other aliens and giant monsters was weird enough as is... but those were... maybe sort of kind of ... well... not sane... understandable?

[itbelongsinamuseum]

I prefer team sports. More stuff going on to look at.

And, yeah, where did cassowaries get power armor? And how did no one notice?...I even had to check an encyclopedia to learn what a cassoway is. It's just weird all around.

[cloningblues]

Oh you've got to be kidding me.

[majestic_keiki]

You're saying that now? After all the other crazy things we've seen?

[cloningblues]

It's an evil ostrich in armor!

[majestic_keiki]

I know. But is it weirder than size-changing robots turning into ancient technology?

[cloningblues]

At least they're aliens. The evil birds were here all along, and nobody knew.

[majestic_keiki]

Good point. Where did they even get that power armor without anybody noticing?

[cloningblues]

Maybe they made it themselves. In secret factories ran by birds.

...I know how this sounds.

[majestic_keiki]

I don't even want to think about how they mined the metal without anybody discovering...

[cloningblues]

Maybe they stole it from humans... Which just raises further questions.

[majestic_keiki]

It really does...I wonder if they got smarter the same way as those cats.

[cloningblues]

If there's anyone who knows, it's them. I should ask if their "father" ever made experiments with birds.

[actuallyselfish]

Dido crushes the carbonated beverage can in her hand. "Cassowaries....!"

Her teeth grind against each other. "I won't let you get away with this! I'll destroy you along with the Indalph! I'll help send you to hell!"

She frowns suddenly. "Still...I admit I may have the wrong mecha to challenge you with."

[dolorous_sensei]

I know that they're against us from the beginning!

[actuallyselfish]

"...er, how so?"

[dolorous_sensei]

Don't you see?

Those pigeon poops....

If those were not declaration of war, I don't know what is.

[actuallyselfish]

"Plague warfare?" Dido muses. "But there's not many diseases that cross over between birds and humans...except for Avian Bird Flu! Was that an attempt to decimate the human population all along?"

[dolorous_sensei]

And have you ever been in the same general area of a goose? Those things are literally evil incarnate!

[actuallyselfish]

"I dunno..." Dido muses. "They only really go insane when they feel threatened...but I get the jist of your point!"

She shakes her fist. "But the worst of the birds is the Eagle! The turtle's natural predator! They, like, pick them up and drop them on rocks from on high to crack open their shells! Betcha that's what's gonna happen to me!"

[dolorous_sensei]

I heard they also like to crack open bald philosopher heads that way. Must be a plot to kill our intellectuals.

[armowrpiercing]

Birds... I'll get you if it's the last thing I'll do!

[kill_all_vagans]

And I'll get them even before then!

[The UE being his "if it's the last thing I'll do" nemesis.]

If they think we'll be easy to beat without Getter Robo, they're mistaken!

[caressthedarkness]

Ah...

[Meanwhile, at the Gloster HQ somewhere in Europe: a certain Kijin's regular viewing of Chop-kun is suddenly interrupted by this broadcast, which attracts the attention of her nearby fellow agents.]

"What is it now?"

"Birds?"

"Mmm...tasty."

"Whoa, Griff, that one looks like your mom."

"Take that back!"

[And while a brawl takes place in the background, Seta can only quietly hope that everything will turn out okay.]