[Insert a Hitchcock reference here]

[a_louse]

Birds.

[The desk Roger is sitting on is full of clutter, as usual. Among that clutter, there are photos - pictures of enemy units taken during the latest battle, as well as photos of all kinds of birds, usually in the wild. Some of the photos are marked by someone who apparently was looking for similarities between them.
Roger grabs his head, shaking it slightly, then pours himself a shot of whiskey.]

If I wasn't there, I'd think it's a joke. But it isn't - we barely managed to stop them from causing a massacre. What other creatures have a secret society dedicated to fighting humanity? Will dogs be next? Lizards?

[Roger takes the shot and his frown deepens.]

...This whiskey is pretty bad.

[Truly, the 1% of mecha are affected by the supply shortages as well.]

Comments

[star_of_sad]

I don't think all birds are enemies of mankind... are they?

It's just a group of mutants or, maybe some kind of bird-like aliens.

[a_louse]

Of course not. Most of them are not even intelligent. And even among the intelligent ones there are probably defectors, like our cats.

The problem is that we can't tell which ones are which.

[star_of_sad]

One year ago I wouldn't even imagine I'd be having a talk like this.

But they attacked inside their combat machines and not on foot... wing. That rules out a stealth attack at least.

I hope.

[a_louse]

Of course. I doubt they will attack without the help of their robots - and even if they do, what can a pigeon do to a human?

But there's another problem. Spying.

[star_of_sad]

[Setsuko imagines security measures in the form of shooting every bird on sight.]

Let's... not get too paranoid, now.

[a_louse]

Paranoia never serves anyone, but neither does ignoring known dangers. We just have to keep an eye out for birds acting suspiciously, not just people.

If we managed to catch a spy, it'd be quite helpful, don't you think?

[star_of_sad]

How would you judge if a bird is acting suspiciously, mr Roger?

[a_louse]

Acting in very different way than their species usually does would do the trick. Unfortunately, I'm not an ornithologist.

...I'll give the commander a call to see what he thinks about hiring one.

[gold_four]

Well, I think we had lizards covered at one point, actually.

[Ataru comes in with more photos, straight from the printing room.]

Here you go.

[He drops them on Roger's desk. More birds.]

[a_louse]

Thanks.
[Roger takes a look at the new batch.]

The fauna of the outside world truly must have something against humans. Just what have you done to them?

[gold_four]

Oh, if they were wild species, they might have something of a point to them. Centuries of environmental pollution and destruction that went unchecked, you see.

[Ataru slams his hand down!]

However! Domestic species, like the cats that we've been fighting, wouldn't exist if not for us! They're just as ignorant as some people to their own evolutionary history!

[a_louse]

What the cats did was foolish. Pride is one thing, but making unnecessary enemies because you refuse to let go of the past is another.

The birds don't have that problem, though. I don't think man ever domesticated cassowaries.

[gold_four]

Well, admittedly, if it were an empire of pigeons, or maybe hawks, we'd not have so much to worry about. But there have been more birds on endangered species lists than I can count... I even hear there was a war against Emus, in the past.

[Ataru thinks over what he read.]

The birds won.

[a_louse]

Really now. Did every single soldier forgot his weapon at home?

[majestic_keiki]

It's like that really bad movie people like to joke about online.

not foreshadowing

[a_louse]

A lot of our life resembles movies. Sometimes the really bad ones too.

If god exists, he must have a very strange sense of humour.

Re: not foreshadowing

[majestic_keiki]

Or he has very little sense of a coherent narrative.

[a_louse]

Life is made from smaller fragments that don't mesh together well when viewed separately. Only someone who has the full picture can see it all clearly, as a coherent whole.

The problem is that I've met many men who tried to pursue the full picture, but not a single one who found it.

[majestic_keiki]

Not sure the full picture would make a lot more sense...

[a_louse]

At the very least it'd provide insight into what caused things to become the way they are.

[majestic_keiki]

I guess that's true...

[a_louse]

Well, philosophising about a hypothetical situation, aside, we have an actual situation on our hands. And despite how absurd it looks, the danger it poses is very real.

[Roger looks at two photos, one of an Avian Empire mech, another of a common magpie.]

[majestic_keiki]

I know...Just how did this even happen? I mean, they're birds, how are they making mecha?

[a_louse]

With their claws, I presume. At least they have the ability to grab things, unlike our cat friends.

[dolorous_sensei]

I knew that they're against us from the start.

[a_louse]

Really? How?

[dolorous_sensei]

You should know better!

You have that huge car! Pigeons must have pooped on them!

If that is not a declaration of war, I don't know what is.

[a_louse]

I really doubt all pigeons in the world are really agents of the Avian Empire. Especially in Paradigm, which was separated from the rest of the world until recently.

[dolorous_sensei]

What about crows? I heard they can harbor grudges.

[a_louse]

So can humans.

[dolorous_sensei]

That's what I'm saying. Humans can harbor grudges, and we fought other humans since time immemorial. Crows can also harbor grudges. We shouldn't be surprised that they wage wars against us too.

[a_louse]

Is every other human you meet a potential warmonger?