The Shell Shock of ShelLancer's Pilot...

[actuallyselfish]

[1]

In the wake of the attack by the dimension conquering Indalph, Dido Sybil, previously an unassuming Solaris technician chief, piloted the ShelLancer machine so that Mizuki and Ken could form the combining mecha known as Sol-Savior.

A few days after the attack, Dido is walking through the hanger bay in orange mechanics overalls, carrying a roll of artificial muscle fiber looped around her shoulder.

She stops for a moment, and stares up for a time at the machine she rode in, scorched and dented here and there by the fury of combat.

Goosebumps stand out on her exposed arms. Her throat works, and she clamps a hand desperately over her mouth with a moan.

"Nope." She says. "No Way. No No No No..."

She turns around, on the verge of panic, and starts speed-walking away, breathing rapidly.

Help her calm down?

Comments

[actuallyselfish]

Dido snorts. "Well, that's a given. No one wants to die, especially at the hands of a dimension conquering Queen Bee."

She grows contemplative.

"Still, even if I was only pushing a few buttons or regulating power flows in there...I've never worked at a job where the stakes were so high. Where a mistake leads to the deaths of your friends, and you can't start over from scratch if you mess up."

She shakes her head. "Too much responsibility like that would drive me mad. How do you stand it?"

[cloningblues]

You learn to handle such things quickly if you don't have a choice.

[actuallyselfish]

"...Don't have a choice?" Dido asks. "What does that mean?"

[cloningblues]

That means I have been in the academy as long as I remember. And when I graduated, I started piloting and fighting for real instead. I don't know any other life. Nobody ever asked me if I want to pilot a giant robot.

[actuallyselfish]

"Oh Jesus." Dido points a finger at you. "You're a child soldier? I mean, duh, you're a very young mecha pilot...but you were raised from birth to be a super-soldier?"

[cloningblues]

I'm not a child. I'm 17.

But short version... Yeah. Have you ever heard of the MJP Project?

[actuallyselfish]

"Yeah. They've got a revolutionary new mecha control scheme in which the ASHMB units can react to people's instincts and nerve impulses: the best neural sync occurs with genetically modified candidates..."

Dido chokes. "That's you?"

[cloningblues]

You know more than I expected from someone not involved in the project...

Anyway, yes. That's me, and the rest of Team Rabbits. Humanity's future, the secret weapon against the Wulgaru, all that jazz.

I'm not saying I want to quit. But still... I didn't ask for this.

[actuallyselfish]

"Hey." Dido tries to say comfortingly. "At least they didn't try to surgically implant military-grade cybernetics into you or something."

She shakes her head. "What am I saying...look, your current position probably violates, what, a dozen human rights charters? All you guys have to do is ask for asylum with us, and the MJP wouldn't even be able to whistle for you!"

[cloningblues]

And then what? What will that change?

I can't not pilot Blue One. Not when all of humanity is at stake.

[actuallyselfish]

"So what?" Dido says, face turning bitter. "If you step down, someone else will step up to the plate and take up the slack! I'm pretty sure you're not humanity's last great hope...so why fight if you don't really want to?"

[cloningblues]

I... don't know if I don't want to. It's complicated.

Besides, even if I resign, my teammates won't. And they'll get themselves killed without me.

[actuallyselfish]

"Why would they get themselves killed without you?" Dido asks. "It's not like they're clumsy newbies, right?"

A colony of crickets living in the air ducts of the hanger choose this moment to start chirping.

[cloningblues]

You've met Izuru, right?

[actuallyselfish]

"I think he leapt out at me and caused me to trip earlier?" Dido says, scratching her head.

"He was a nice kid, though."

[cloningblues]

That sounds exactly like him. I think you now know one of the reasons I can't just get up and leave. Even if I had that option.

[actuallyselfish]

"But..."

Dido hesitates, chews at her lip and stares at her hands. Hands that are trembling a little.

"You could get killed too, if you fight out there. You could get crippled for life. How do you deal with that? How do you run the math and decide that people's lives are more valuable than your own?"

[cloningblues]

That's a good question.

...I'm not sure I can answer. When you're in the middle of action, it's just easy to forget about that.

[actuallyselfish]

"Really?" Dido wonders.

"I thought it was the other way around: trainee pilots act like they're kings of the world, then panic and run when they're put in a real combat situation. You know?

[cloningblues]

Well... With the way AHSMB works, if you panic, the robot panics with you. So you quickly learn not to do that. Usually works...