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Good job, you left the window open and bugs flew in
[1] [Suddenly, a transmission to all Unity Group bases! The person talking is... definitely not human. She's some kind of weird alien insect cyborg.]
Citizens of Earth, members of organization known as Unity Group. I come to you with a warning.
I am Hetepheres, a general of the Gebian army. Thousands of years ago, my people came to your planet, but they kept their presence a secret. Today, we return, but we are not united in our goals. The Anti-Earthling Party believes that we should conquer your planet, and enslave its populace. They will start their invasion soon.
I am a representative of the Pro-Earthling Party. We believe in mutual cooperation and understanding between our two races. I was sent here as an ambassador, and consultant, and defender; together, we shall push back the AEP, and perhaps teach them of the mistakes of their way. If they don't want to learn, they shall taste steel.
Your leaders already know about this and have prepared a place for me to establish an embassy. If you need anything, you can find me there.
[2] [Soon, stuff is going on in the hangar at Fort Alhambra. A strange vessel has arrived, resembling a combination of a normal spaceship and an ancient Egyptian river boat. It's not big, enough to transport maybe several mecha at most. A group of creatures that look suspiciously similar to 1-meter long beetles is moving to and fro, unpacking various objects from the ship and disappearing with them inside the base. The whole operation is overseen by Hetepheres, who turns out to be no less alien in real life than on a screen, and pretty giant to boot - roughly 2 meters tall! Also, right next to the ship a mech is standing, which looks very much like her, only 10 times taller.]
Watch out with those instruments, they are very fragile. Yes, bring that to my private quarters, if you please. That console can stay on the ship for the time being.
[One of the beetles raises a hand (they don't really have hands, but details) questioningly.]
Skrrryt?
No, I don't know where the kitchen is. One of the locals will have to answer this question.
Citizens of Earth, members of organization known as Unity Group. I come to you with a warning.
I am Hetepheres, a general of the Gebian army. Thousands of years ago, my people came to your planet, but they kept their presence a secret. Today, we return, but we are not united in our goals. The Anti-Earthling Party believes that we should conquer your planet, and enslave its populace. They will start their invasion soon.
I am a representative of the Pro-Earthling Party. We believe in mutual cooperation and understanding between our two races. I was sent here as an ambassador, and consultant, and defender; together, we shall push back the AEP, and perhaps teach them of the mistakes of their way. If they don't want to learn, they shall taste steel.
Your leaders already know about this and have prepared a place for me to establish an embassy. If you need anything, you can find me there.
[2] [Soon, stuff is going on in the hangar at Fort Alhambra. A strange vessel has arrived, resembling a combination of a normal spaceship and an ancient Egyptian river boat. It's not big, enough to transport maybe several mecha at most. A group of creatures that look suspiciously similar to 1-meter long beetles is moving to and fro, unpacking various objects from the ship and disappearing with them inside the base. The whole operation is overseen by Hetepheres, who turns out to be no less alien in real life than on a screen, and pretty giant to boot - roughly 2 meters tall! Also, right next to the ship a mech is standing, which looks very much like her, only 10 times taller.]
Watch out with those instruments, they are very fragile. Yes, bring that to my private quarters, if you please. That console can stay on the ship for the time being.
[One of the beetles raises a hand (they don't really have hands, but details) questioningly.]
Skrrryt?
No, I don't know where the kitchen is. One of the locals will have to answer this question.
2
SO YOU ARE THE BUG ALIENS. I EXPECTED YOU TO BE SMALLER.
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Gebians, please. We are bug aliens in the same way Earthlings are monkey aliens. I'd rather avoid throwing those names at each other.
Earthlings are larger than unaltered Gebians, but you're the first one I met who is taller than me. Are you a cyborg?
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AND NO. A CYBORG IS PART HUMAN AND PART MACHINE. I HAVE NO HUMAN PARTS.
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What is it that you do around here?
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YES. THAT WORKS.
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AND HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW WELL THIS WILL WORK. JOINING TOP PILOTS FROM EVERYWHERE UNDER ONE BANNER ALWAYS HAS THE SAME PROBLEMS.
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But for now, let us hear what are the problems you fear might surface here.
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WHAT YOU GET IS A TOTAL CLUSTERFUCK OF PRIMA DONNAS WHO OSCILLATE BETWEEN INCREDIBLE EFFICIENCY AND TOTAL INSUBORDINATION AT NEAR RANDOM. SO SOMETIMES YOU HAVE A MISSION THAT SUCCEEDS CLEANLY AGAINST IMPOSSIBLE ODDS, AND SOMETIMES ONE OF THEM DECIDES THAT GIVING THE GIANT MONSTER A CHANCE TO TALK AGAINST DIRECT ORDERS IS A GOOD IDEA AND YOU GET TWO HUNDRED CASUALTIES IN A ROUTINE NEUTRALIZATION.
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[Not a question. Just stating a fact.]
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EXPECT TO NEED TO HIT SOME PEOPLE WITH THAT STAFF OF YOURS A FEW TIMES BEFORE THEY LISTEN, THOUGH.
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